Excellent insight and very well put. my 6th cousin's 6th cousin twice removed had experienced this first hand. His ex-SHQ was convent educated confused Indian elite (granddad was a principal of a very famed college of British era in one of the Raj states) where as my cus has grown up most his life in towns less than 2 lakhs. My cousin did not take dowry as he believed that it is a social evil that should be weeded out of the society. This was even after the inevitable question of "some thing wrong with you?" was raised by the woman's mother. Their world views were diametrically opposite. A divorce was initiated by the woman and no-contest assent from my cousin through whom she got a PR she got hitched to a gora who left her after they had a kid together. Last my cousin heard, she seems to be a bitter middle aged lady fighting her ex-gora hubby for child's custody etc.brihaspati wrote: ...
(4) Indian women overwhelmingly prefer the US life - that is my personal impression. I could be wrong. For the same reasons perhaps that even in advanced western Europe, women prefer to live in cities compared to their native villages. I also saw a significant inclination to get hitched to non-Indian men, and the girls I knew frankly stated that they thought of Indian men as being more under their family - and distaff control, especially their mothers, and more inhibited in the bed. In many cases, the "western" men they hitched with were not free from such influences either, but I guess it is the perception in many such women - many again churned out through the "missionary/convent" factories, that the "west" was superior, and its men somehow therefore being part of that "superiority" will lack the qualities they hate in their birth culture, and have those they have been fed upon on through the movies/books they were exposed to as part of the wider missionary/convent culture [not necessarily taught at school].
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Another case I heard is one of my cousin's employees here in US whose Indian friend came to US for a PhD and she said the only reason she came here is that her family was forcing her to marry somebody in India and she felt that there are no big-hearted fellows in India - not one in the 600 or so million men. This same employee was also asking about caste system in India and are there any markers. My cousin's answer was it is not easy to find at least in cities. Then she says "what if I claim I am a Brahmin caste?". My cousin asked her to his guest and use his gotra as the prevailing situation in India is that more people want to go the other way to get into those reserved quotas, especially if their last names do not mark them (non-agrahara place names or non-profession last names) as forward castes.
Once the same person was surprised, when my cousin said there are hundreds of castes, that there are so many fine distinctions. A
