BATTLE OF BRITAIN-2.
(From our special staff reporter,Arson N. Loot)
Never since the grim days of the Nazi Blitz of WW2 has Great Britain been steeped in such a crisis,as fires light the night sky spreading across the country (except Scotland-a foreign land),remnisceent of that great fire centuries ago of which that great diarist Pepys wrote of.I see through the London smoke the dome of St.Paul's cathedral,that great masterpiece by Wren, still proudly standing like an invincible icon, giving hope to millions of Britishers that their kingdom might somehow survive.The dreaded enemy,the demon "hoodies",who for decades laid low in their sleeper cells,who invaded this isle of milk and honey by stealth, sprang to life and devilish destruction on a summer's eve first in the fair landscape of Tottenham,and through the first use of urban "Network Centric Warfare",the "All Blacks" with their secret EW weapons,their "Black-Berrys" ,have outfoxed and outfought the renowned London Bobbies and Bobettes ,their horses and their dogs in savage street fighting,threatening to take over this fair land of Albion.
London,or Londonistan as many Islamist Brits describe it,resembled Baghdad,Beirut,Benghazi or Basra more than that fair city of spires,domes and parks,nestling by the Thames riverside.The conflagration has now spread across both banks.North,south,east and west,the names of today's battlefields of Croydon,Ealing,Camden,Romford and Clapham will go down in history along with those great names of,Agincourt,the Somme,Zion Kop,El Alamein and Normandy.As reports come in of news of battles as far off as the famous port of Bristol (where I had uncannily visited recently on a premonition),Birmingham and Liverpool,reached us embattled members of the press,we watched horror stricken and riveted as intense battles raged street by street,between that "thin blue line" of bobbies and the "All-Blacks",battling for key positions and enclaves like "Tescos", "Sainsburys","Sony" and Armani".The frenzied action was reminiscent to veterans of the fighting in Berlin during the last days of the war.Pub by pub surged the hordes of "All Black" commandos sprinkled with a few fair-faced Quislings and their special forces of 10yr. olds-whose speciality was the ability to swiftly crawl through the smallest holes in broken shop windows to enter, loot and scoot.
Latest reports say the Royal family are safe,a great reassurance to the millions of pensioners and citizens,some of whom have had to leap from their buildings which were torched by the invading "Black-Berrys".A great security cordon has been thrown around Whitehall,Buckingham Palace and 10 Downing Street,reminiscient of that great French example of military engineering,the Maginot Line,called the "Whitehall Wall".Should this wall fall,plans are afoot according to informed sources, to evacuate by helicopter the Royal Family and key government officials including the PM and his cabinet to Scotland,from where the fight can be continued safely behind that great Roman fortification,Hadrian's Wall. "They shall not pass",is the watchword,exemplifying that great British Bulldog fighting spirit! A news flash has just reported that that HM the Queen has also asked Prince Harry to return to the battlefield and fight for Queen and country in .... Afghanistan!
Winging his way back to the great fires sweeping across the London night skies was Field Mayor Boris Johnson,that renowned marital arts expert,expected to take charge of London's defence forces leading from the front on his battling bicycle,urging his bobbies and especially bobettes on,in his characteristic "leg-over" style of campaign! Also cutting short his hols was Dy.PM Nick "peg-leg" Clegg,hopping to be of some use in this historic confilct as chief cigar cutter to his boss.That great man,chomping on his "Trichy",eyes reddened as if on fire from his countless glasses of champagne and brandy,charged with true British pluck, is
winging his way aboard a special military aircraft,Prime Minister David "Churchill" Cameron.He had this to say to the heroic British people desperate for inspiration and hope."We shall fight them in the Beeches (of Hyde Park),we shall fight them in the high streets,we shall fight them in the side streets,pub by pub,in the shopping malls,in the hyper-markets of Tesco's and Sainsbury's and in the grounds of Sony,we shall never surrender!".
Last edited by Philip on 09 Aug 2011 11:55, edited 1 time in total.