Bharat Rakshak

That is sooo funny!

But seems to be a prank of some kind on the mortar guys. The cameraman is laughing like a maniac, and he isn't running either!

Moved from Possible Indian Military Scenarios - XII to this one, as is it more suitable here.

I would like to ask...does'nt that look like Bird Shit on the Paki Naval Air Arm's official logo?

So............... This is what is a blue moon, eh?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cagKBjMnRJE

Bomb blast at 04 seconds...
Its Chief Justice of Pukistan who is depanted...hehe
I hope I dont get Bradmin rebuke for promoting *****

Couple of Gems:

I wonder why so much discussion about T-90 and Arjun in the Armor forum, while the actual discussion should be about Al Khalid:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqgwSak8ujQ

Also, Chandrayaan move aside, what is all this moon landing- shanding stuff eh??
Pakistani's are going to be on the moon in 5 years flat. Don't believe me hear the Shere - e - Pakistan himself explain.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R-7cxvhpXSU&feature=related

P.S: The babe is so excited..... Ab Chahiye???

^^yuvaraj ki dhulai...

ManMohan SIngh to Gilanahi, " Dekh le ma********. Isliye tujhe yanhaa match dekhne bulaaya thaa. Baap baap hii hota hai aur beta beta."

o/\o ... Very true...

Great cartoon Nits mian
You made it ? Would you mind if I share it with friends ?

Jamwal sir... this cartoon is output of google uncle... but do share with friends...

The Pakistani pilot asked Chinese pilot during training of JF 17. "sir I forgot, how can I bring down this ?!" Chinese pilot answered "Don't worry Indian's will do that for you.

This is a true incident, from a source involved in all this. Get some coffee and enjoy.

In the peak of summer 2010 and on a Saturday morning Station commander (SC) of a major Airforce base in central India received a message that certain very high ranked officer was slated to spend a night next day at the base en route to Delhi after finishing a short personal visit to that part of country. A ‘Heli’ was supposed to come over from Delhi to ferry this very high ranking officer back to Delhi on Monday morning.

Needless to say phone started ringing throughout the station and all concerned where asked to report to the situation room adjacent to SC’s cabin. Everyone from security to admin to Mess secretary were directed to go check status of their respective units and report back at 2000 hours at Officer’s Mess where the next meeting was scheduled.

And so it happened. Some officers had reached early for the meeting and were already peg or 2 down when SC arrived. On arrival as is the usual custom the mess staff got a peg of SC’s favorite single malt ready and served it.

First to go was Security in charge. Since it was not known as to from which side the senior officer will enter the city, it was decided to station 2 sets of AF Police Gypsies and bikes on each side of town from where the Highway came and exit. It was generally felt once the officer is within the station limits not many security threats will be encountered.

CADO (the Admin Man) reported that the guest will stay at the Mess VIP Suite and that suite is all fit and fine, he along with Garrison Engineer (GE – An Army Sappers officers) had inspected the room. Fresh towels, bed sheets and all other things were ready and accounted for. So, each department gave their status report to SC. Satisfied the Conversation drifted and drinks kept coming. After sometime 2 young fighter pilots entered the Mess bar where the meeting was now getting held. AC an ex fighter pilot himself asked the young chaps to join in.

Since these young guns had recently shifted to the base, they were staying in the mess too. Upon hearing the agenda and to impress the other ‘non flying’ officers with their ‘class’, one of the pilots told that there was a problem in the mess. He said, since it was peak of summers the visiting dignitary would definitely take a bath immediately after he arrives in his suite. The problem is since the water tank is overhead, it usually heats up the water, this results in steaming hot shower in the middle of Indian dry summers. This was a problem the young Flt Lt said he faces on daily basis. The SC was all impressed with the young Top Gun and in typical Air force officer style looked at GE as if he should have somehow preempted the problem. The GE the only Army officer sitting in the gathering was now cornered. Anyways somehow came up with the plan. He said he will drain the overhead water tank and have a water tanker on standby ready under some shade near the mess. The moment the guest enters the station the water tanker will start filling up the tank and hence it will ensure that the visitor gets water on normal room temperature.

CADO, the only other engineer in the gathering now wanted to pitch in. He was of the opinion that even thought Ahem! The GE’s plan will ensure water temperature significantly lower than the normal tank water, it was not still cool enough for a such a senior officer as the visitor was and moreover the sight of a water tanker standing next to the VIP suite will lead to utter ‘baeizzatti’. SC agreed with him (what do these army walas know? They join the services straight after 12th…). GE kept quite. Now it was turn of the other fighter pilot. Quick thinking and improvising as fighter pilots are, this genius came up with a fool proof plan.

He said that GE should arrange for a big ice block and put it into the tank. This will ensure cool water for hours. SC was now so impressed with the new crop for fighter pilots that he might as well as kissed the young top guns cheeks. Turning to GE he asked whether it was possible. Horribly outnumbered and by now somewhat dejected GE agreed. One BIG piece of ice coming up.

Not to be outdone the second fighter pilot now came up with another theory. He said the ice will float and cool only the upper part of the tank. But the outlet to the bathroom is from the bottom most part. How will the GE ensure that the water temperature inside the tank is kept equally distributed. By now, GE a Bengal sappers officer had had enough but he was still maintaining a low profile, he knew he was outgunned. So he kept quite. But CADO didn’t. He suggested that one of the MES staff be put on the top of the roof, with a ‘danda’. His job will to keep swirling the water and the ice in the tank. This will ensure uniformly cool temperature of water inside the tank and the visiting dignitary will have a cool bath. By now the dejected Sappers officer had given all hope and quietly agreed to depute and man from the MES’s Army Jawan staff to perform this very important duty.

Anyways by now everyone had moved to the dining hall. This was dress rehearsal for the meal that will be served next day. Conversation quickly moved towards how to keep the guest occupied and amused. A quick call to a buddy in Delhi confirmed that Visiting Air marshal is a golf fanatic. SC was especially proud of the Golf course in the station and looked at this short visit by higher ups as a God sent opportunity to show his administrative skills (generally gauged by upkeep of the station’s golf course). So a round of golf was scheduled.

While all this discussion was going on, the first pilot (the one who came up with the theory of hot water) came up with another problematic scenario. He said what if the guest decided to play golf first and then take a bath? There was silence in the room. CADO said the ice block will last atleast 2 to 3 hours and therefore there is no need to worry. But nobody was quite sure of this. GE on the other hand was cruising on ignore mode. Answer came from the second pilot (who else?). he suggested why not put 2 blocks of ice instead of one? After some thought SC ordered the GE to arrange 2 ice blocks instead of 1. GE now completely tuned out, but nodded.

Now, the evening and dinner was almost over. While moving out SC enquired from the mess secretary if there was good stock of beer and all, to this answer was yes. Once SC was in his car, he asked the mess secretary to ensure that Beers are ice chilled instead of chilling it in refrigerator (this is a widely held belief in Army and Air force, the ice chilled beer somehow is better). And SC drove off.

Now the fateful day came. The security apparatus correctly spotted the senior officer driving in from west side of town towards the AF station. All systems were go. Sure enough guest was received at the gates by SC. SC himself drove the Dignitary to Mess and while en route proposed a round of golf. “Sure” said the visiting Marshal “ But would like a quick bath first”. Sure enough the fighter pair was right.

Once in mess Marshal Sahib was quickly escorted to his Suite, while SC waited in Mess Hall. After long drive in peak of summer afternoon in dusty central India, the visitor headed straight to shower. The moment he switched on the shower he was greeted most unexpected surprise. The water was chilled cold. So cold that Sahib decided to stop the shower and he switched on the geyser and went back to room to wait for water to be a lil hotter. But as it happens, The geyser burst inside the bathroom. Poor marshal Sahib ran out of the suite in his towel. And when he looked up he was even more amazed. One Army Jawan was standing on the roof with a stick swirling the water tank and a mess waiter in his full uniform standing on roof with Beer bottles….

Anyways, next day the whole blame was put on the poor GE as he should have checked the geyser… The Visiting Air Marshal reached Delhi in time.

^^ Poor GE ..very funny!

Typical sarkaari kaam

Typical fauji I would say.

Humour on Terrorism

TERROR THREATS IN 2011 EUROPE: BY JOHN CLEESE

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and
have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon,
though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit
Cross."

The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea
supplies nearly ran out.

Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The
last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning
level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the
******** They don't have any other levels. This is the reason
they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300
years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert
level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France
are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire
that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the
country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to
"Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective
Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to
"Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels:
"Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they
are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These
beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new
Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to
"She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain:
"Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie
is canceled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of
the final escalation level.

-- John Cleese - British writer, actor and tall person


__._,_.___

Sri, that joke represents government apathy at its best. Its similar to the joke where all the ship's crew were engaged in watching over the mousetrap while the rats were happily eating away the cheese in the larder through a gaping hole in the woodwork!

BTW, we are having plenty of repeats from the Humour thread as well as from previous pages of this thread. Hence, please check before posting! Thanks in advance!

^^^ Klaus Sir ji. I agree with your assessment above. I myself was feeling pity for the officer who was giving me the story, as his basic premise was lack of intellect in fauji culture.

BTW, I hope you don't mean the above Hot water story is a repeat. Cos yours truly drafted the narration after hearing it from a very reliable source....

No, I was referring to the ones related to JF-17 and European Terror Threats.

^^^

I agree. I remember European terror thing a few pages back.

Amazing assault tactics of World's best commando Instructor. The guy is so good, you can see a thin white aura all around him when he is in air. Some blasphemers may say that is the proof of photoshop, but what do they know about the divine powers of a true Commando Instructor? Or maybe he is flying so fast that he develops plasma layer around him? Cant really say.
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_o45Kjz2k-Jc/TIoNkOSPWVI/AAAAAAAAApU/bFfNQab99MQ/s1600/_MG_4705.JPG
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_o45Kjz2k-Jc/TIoQq4kUadI/AAAAAAAAApg/7ChYwH9wr64/s1600/_MG_4759.JPG
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_o45Kjz2k-Jc/TUKsduFZFtI/AAAAAAAAB78/0Q4pQUINfzM/s1600/Slide009.jpg

Here is another gem, but this time from the realm of Kung Fu. I guess the pose would not have the same magic without the fan and the sea.
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_o45Kjz2k-Jc/TKPIRDUyeQI/AAAAAAAAAww/JDsodgL-DoI/s1600/DSC_7740.jpg

In the third Pic....he is actually standing in air !!!! And ...he certainly likes...fancy bright coloured clothing ....

Rightttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt
LOL this is the best humour material we have had in a while boys..... great stuff...... Thanks

Gaur ji, how did you miss these?
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_o45Kjz2k-Jc/T ... CN9831.JPG
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_o45Kjz2k-Jc/T ... CN9826.JPG
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_o45Kjz2k-Jc/T ... CN9815.JPG
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_o45Kjz2k-Jc/T ... 0%2529.JPG

I want to meet this guy.

http://www.shifu-shifuji.blogspot.com/

Shifuji's classes!!!lol

Did he name himself after the guy from Kung Fu Panda?

Fusion Gung-fu Bharatnatyam* classes!

* = (TM) Shifuji aka Jhingur Pehelwan II.

^^^^
You better watch out guys, cause him and his legion of Babes are going to come after us Bollywood Style. Prepare the Dance Floor!

Are we quietly launching any other projects today?

why is he fanning his mushraf?
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_o45Kjz2k-Jc/T ... C_7740.jpg

from one kamandu to another i guess!

this is an awesome jump...look the height

Exactly my thought. Master Shifu from Kung Fu Panda. Wonder who is Master Ugawaye...

I thought that the fan is a practice substitute for actual weapons used in combat. Besides, this fan has a tactical version which can be used as a slashing weapon. Introduction of Tessenjutsu practice, perhaps!

X-posting from Misc Pictures thread.

Sirji,
Maybe he is an excellent Martial Artist. I am in no way qualified to comment either way. So, if he is able to help CMPs with his expertise, well and good. But no matter how skilled the guy may or may not be, I cannot agree with what he is doing.

I understand the need for marketing one's skills. No one can have any problem with that. But this guy does not seem to be bound by any ethics or honour when it comes to that. I mean, with your interaction with servicemen, I am sure you would know what it takes to earn that Maroon Beret and Balidan Badge. What those people voluntarily go through defies belief. And this chap insults them by wearing those honour with small alterations as to avoid legal issues.

In short, I can live with the Photoshoped pics even though that is fraud by itself. But I live too much in awe of the Balidan Badge to see it being insulted and not get angry.

Regarding the man being a fool. Even though I have called him a joker numerous times, but I have also said that the man is no fool. He is very crafty and makes small alterations to the badges and emblems to avoid legal issues. This is worse since it proves that this guy is not a well intentioned blunderer but a smart guy who knows very well what he is doing.

I mean, how many times do we meet a person who can claim to be among the best in his field. How many engineers,doctors etc do we meet who can claim that they are the best in the world. But a PARA SF do not need to claim that he is among the best at what they do, they "are" the best warriors in the world. And just because this joker knows martial arts, he sees fit to imply that is one of them?

^^Sorry, I think he is only doing what MANY OTHER TFTA security services organizations are doing. How many times have gear-heads drooled over tacticool images of 'spec-ops' teams standing around looking cool without any indication of how effective they actually are in combat? Remember that image of the Serb (or something) president's guard - they looked like it was a goddamn fashion parade. Who knows how good they are?
This dude could be good, bad, ugly who knows? He's just an SDRE marketing his skills in a TFTA-obsessed world. We may not (I definitely am not) be impressed by his shaolin monk-ey moves but what the hell. As long as he's not breaking any rules and putting soldiers lives in danger - which is some the COs of the forces he is training should be clear about, right?

^^^I think Gaur's main issue is the guy wearing patches and badges which are earned through shedding lots of blood and sacrifice - something which this guy has with a probability of 99.99999% not gone through. I agree with him. Otherwise I should also claim I am a Param Vir Chakra/Ashoka Chakra awardee to market myself and should not be taken to task since I did not cause anybody physical harm. There is a difference between looking cool and impersonation including fraudulent use of govt. insignia - the latter is downright illegal even in India but I guess nobody cares enough to enforce it.

You have precisely summarised my problem with this guy. The PVC analogy explains the issue perfectly.

Jaeger,
As Raja Bose has said, you have completely misunderstood me. As I have said before, I am not qualified to comment on the man's abilities. Also, I respect the need for marketing your skills.

Regarding the western PMCs. They show themselves all TFTA but I doubt if they would dare to imply being US Army rangers by wearing Tan beret and slightly modified Rangers Tab. My guess is that would cause a furore there.

When Raja Bose says that the particular SF badge is earned through Blood and sacrifice, he is not speaking figuratively.

Sirji are you implying that Indians should follow the precedent set in Amreeka? Maybe you do not mean that but it sounds like that. If someone cannot do something in the USA it does not automatically become bad for someone to do it here. This is what I meant by implying that Macaulay is lurking somewhere.

In India it is acceptable for the owner a ceramic tile firm to have a big yellow"M" a la McDonalds as his logo as it is acceptable for a man to have a shop called Kentacky Fried Chicken (i have a photograph somewhere). No laws are being broken. If someone wants to sue him fine. If someone does not like it fine. But if he is doing some good for people without breaking any laws there is no need in my view to come down heavily on him. Like I said - my views.