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 Post subject: Re: Spy Story
PostPosted: 23 Oct 2009 08:46 am 
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Location: Dera Mahab Ali धरा महाबलिस्याः درا مهاب الي
“Why don't we send her up there, and lock both of them up together?” John asked with a wink.

“Sure. A happy reunion!” Praveen smirked.

The team had assembled back at the home base. Shenoy had safely arrived at Delhi, and was under the expert care of the specialists of the agency. It took some time and a CAT scan to find the memory card, and more time and a lot of laxatives to retrieve it. It was a small consolation that the experts found that it was the real deal, the same one as Lt. Raja Mohan had given him.

With a little motivation, Shenoy had agreed to co-operate with the agency. He was a good businessman, and was perfectly able to figure when the bets are off. He would give all the l information about the links he had with the enemy operators, in exchange for a life at a far corner of the country, under surveillance.

The top brass of the agency was disappointed that they had to take drastic action, upsetting the network and foreclosing any hope of containment. Anil had to argue that it was the only way out, since vital information was already out in the open, and its safe retrieval was of paramount importance.

They had to agree.

But the hornet's nest was already stirred. It warranted action. The only viable course of action was elimination. Huang Wei and his network must go. It is going to be nasty, but it need to be done.

“Time being she will have to deal with her sorrows. We will see what can be done after we deal with the rest.” Anil said with a sense of finality.

“The good thing is, our friend Adung will stay safe.” John said with a mischievous smile.

“Why is it a good thing, John?” Anil asked, pretending innocence.

“I get to watch the lady forever” John laughed.

“Sorry to disappoint you. You and Arjun are moving to Vishakhapatnam”

“Thank god!” Praveen crossed himself.

“Arjun!! This Arjun Rai!! Why don't you tie a stone around my neck and push me into the river, Sir?” John cried in mock anger.

All of them had a hearty laugh.

The naga maanikyam was safe where it belongs, and the forces guarding it was alert and in full readiness. Darkness fell, but the watchful eyes sans lids never slept.

The End.


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 Post subject: Re: Spy Story
PostPosted: 23 Oct 2009 08:47 am 
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Epilogue

22-December-2011

USS Delaware waited patiently beyond the continental shelf, more than 40 nautical miles southeast of Vishakhapatnam harbour. She had been loitering around in the deep waters of the Bay of Bengal for several days, waiting for her quarry to appear. The modified Virginia class submarine was the quietest boat among all, built with special equipment for intelligence gathering. She had gone with impunity where she was called for, be it among carrier battle groups, boomer submarines, or even land based assets like ports. She was thought to be virtually undetectable by other boats, enabling her to eavesdrop and collect information about pretty much anything in the sea.

The first ever nuclear submarine of India was about to come out into the ocean. The event was not really a secret. There were already leaks on the internet fora about the imminent sea trials of the boat. The harbour acceptance and basic ocean acceptance trials were over, and it was time the ATV stepped out into the open, showing its face. The schedule for the trials was prepared in secrecy, but enough information was already collected and available for the intelligence agencies of the other powers.

Everyone, including the Indian authorities, knew that there is going to be a welcome party by the submarines of navies of the other powers of the world, especially the USA and China. Russia, the third player of significance, was already a partner in the project. The rest of the powers were allies of USA, so they may not care to deploy their own assets.

The assets on ground had positively confirmed that today was the most likely day for the mission. This was reinforces by the presence of a Han class boat from the PLA in the area. Delaware kept enough distance so that the Chinese boat will not find them. In fact they had to move a bit southward as the Han took her position.

Chief Sonar Technician Jesse 'stork' Glock was on duty at the Sonar room. He rostered himself for that shift, as they were expecting the quarry to appear in that time window. Even otherwise, he had instructed his colleagues to call him when it shows up. He glanced over the shoulders of the other two men, who hunched up in front of the consoles, wearing the huge full cover headsets. They sat motionless there, in the cramped and dimly lit area and listened to the ocen beyond. Jesse pushed back his chair a bit, and watched the consoles.

The Delaware slowly moved in a loiter pattern, turning her flank arrays to the direction of the harbour. Waiting and watching.


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 Post subject: Re: Spy Story
PostPosted: 23 Oct 2009 08:47 am 
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“Hey chief, this noise is giving me a headache”. Petty Officer Second Class Charles 'chuck' Bickel complained to Jesse Glock, while removing his headset. Jesse turned his gaze from the console to Chuck and smiled.

“They make their subs like their cars.” PO2 Larry Oswald commented from the other chair with a smirk. “The great INS Clunker!!”

“Looks like the Ruskies duped them good.” Chuck said matter of factly.

The sonar technicians of USS Delaware had grown a little bit weary in tagging the Indian nuclear submarine, as she did her trials in the Bay of Bengal. When she came out in the open the previous day, the sonar team could not believe their ears. They expected the acoustic signature of the boat to be something similar to the other mid sized nuclear submarines of the world. What they heard sounded like a diesel engine of a fishing boat. In fact their captain had gone to periscope depth to take a look around to see if there was a surface vessel around from which the sound came. The signals are carefully analysed to verify that it indeed came from the Indian Submarine.

Even the chief from engineering dropped in to listen in, speculating the source of the sound. He predicted that it would be the under-performing vibration isolators of the turbine and gearbox that makes such sound. “They should have used more rubber” was his comment, triggering spontaneous laughter in the room.

And they named the boat “Clunker Class”, and some even speculated that the official NATO moniker could end up being the same.

In any case, the Clunker Class submarine of the Indians became a butt of jokes in the mess. Even the XO of the ship admitted that it may not be worth of the time of the Delaware to follow such a lousy contraption. But the Captain was adamant that they execute their mission to the full, which was to follow the sub for the entire four day trial, as reported by the intelligence.


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 Post subject: Re: Spy Story
PostPosted: 23 Oct 2009 08:47 am 
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“Holy Crap!! She is turning towards us!!” Larry Oswald yelled. The Delaware was trailing the Indian sub off her port side at a range of ten nautical miles. At this range, Delaware could hear her loud and clear, and track well. With the available information, there was no way the Indian boat could detect the Delaware at this range and bearing. Both boats were on steady course, cruising at 10 knots.

Without warning, the Indian ship suddenly made a sharp turn to port and speeded up. The plots showed a collision course with the Delaware.

“Could they hear us?” the man from the other console asked, with a bit of panic in his voice.

“Are you kidding? No way!!” Assured Larry, as he picked the phone up to raise chief Jesse.

Jesse stormed in into the Sonar bay moments later, and looked at the scope.

“She is coming towards us, alright.” He said without any trace of alarm in his voice. He calmly took the phone and advised the bridge about it. There was nothing to worry. They are still pretty far off, and no change in course is needed for time being.

“Maybe her next test run.” Jesse told himself aloud.

Minutes passed, as the scope updated the vector of the Indian ship. They are maintaining the collision course at 18 knots.

“Ten thousand yards and closing” Jesse reported to the bridge.

No course correction came from the bridge.

“Eight thousand yards and closing”

“We better step away, unless you want them to see us.” Jesse said matter of factly.

When they reported six thousand yards range, they heard the order to change course and speed, evading the approaching sub. The course would bring them parallel to the Indian sub if they maintained course and speed.

Soon they settled in the new course, with the Indians at a range of ten thousand yards abeam. Both ships cruising at fifteen knots speed.

Larry suddenly startled, as if something hit him.

“Chief. You got to listen to this.” He punched some buttons on his console. The well known sound of the Indian sub came on a small speaker on the system.

“What's with that?” Jesse asked impatiently.

Suddenly the constant whine went down in volume and some other noise was heard. Immediately the whine got restored.

“Like a baby's voice!! Something like Peek-a-boo!!” Larry said with wide eyes.

“Oh, come on Larry!! A baby commands that ship and he said Peek-a-boo to you?” Jesse was a bit angry. He himself heard the noise, and it did sound like peek-a-boo to him, but had no explanation to offer.

“Maybe my imagination!” Larry said with a sigh.

“Only your imagination.” Jesse concurred, shaking his head.

Not too far, inside the steaming ATV, there was a small photograph taped to the sonar console. The innocent face of little Akil Menon seemed to smile at Lt. Cmdr Ramesh Menon from the photograph. Ramesh winked at the image of his beloved son with a smile.

End of the Book


Last edited by Dileep on 23 Oct 2009 09:02 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Spy Story
PostPosted: 23 Oct 2009 09:00 am 
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I wish to thank one and all of the readers, dear BRFite brothers and Lurkers, for all the encouragement and all the nice words with which you blessed this little work of fiction. I thank the BR admin for the kind permission to run it as a separate thread, and also for the commentary thread.

Thanks Rahul_M for the constant prodding, and the encouragement.

Thanks Ramana for the motivation. I value your comments a lot.

Thanks Austin Joseph and Raja Bose for he technical consultation.

Thanks suryag fr the encouragement and the glossary.

Thanks armenon for writing a fill in piece. Good work.

Thanks Dear readers tsriram, dilbu, ChandraS, aditp, disha, Aditya_M, Sanku, ajay pratap, BajKhedawal, rshyam etc for all the encouragements, comments, criticisms and comments.

Thanks the lurkers who sent e-mail with encouragement.

And top of all, I thank my employer, who unwittingly created a slack in the work schedule, enabling me to write this.

With my hands folded in front, and back bent forward,

Namaskaaram.


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 Post subject: Re: Spy Story
PostPosted: 23 Oct 2009 09:12 am 
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Brilliant plot Dileep. When do we get Spy Story 3 ? Cant wait!!!!


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 Post subject: Re: Spy Story
PostPosted: 23 Oct 2009 09:16 am 
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aditp wrote:
Brilliant plot Dileep. When do we get Spy Story 3 ? Cant wait!!!!

Well, from SS-1 to SS-2 it was three and a half years.


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 Post subject: Re: Spy Story
PostPosted: 23 Oct 2009 09:18 am 
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Could not resist to comment as I dont want to break the flow of the story... simply awesome

BTW .. I am following it everyday...even when I was on my holidays ;) Got additicted to it.


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 Post subject: Re: Spy Story
PostPosted: 23 Oct 2009 09:19 am 
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Good one. Good imagination and presentation. Well done :)


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 Post subject: Re: Spy Story
PostPosted: 23 Oct 2009 09:28 am 
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Dileep wrote:
aditp wrote:
Brilliant plot Dileep. When do we get Spy Story 3 ? Cant wait!!!!

Well, from SS-1 to SS-2 it was three and a half years.


:(( :(( :(( :(( :((

In these 3-1/2 yrs the khans and the noodles have all become much spicier. I'm sure you have more halaal maal to feed young mujahids.


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 Post subject: Re: Spy Story
PostPosted: 23 Oct 2009 10:52 am 
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First, awesome work Dileep ji.

I have been an avid reader of spy fiction from Le Carre, Frederick Forsyth, Daniel Silva, Jack Higgins to Tom Clancy. Though I don't claim to be a great critic; your work ranks up the very best. Especially keeping it short and fast paced by the likes of Le Carre. Please keep up with your great work.

Regards,
Kiran


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 Post subject: Re: Spy Story
PostPosted: 23 Oct 2009 11:00 am 
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Just a suggestion. Can you write a prologue? About the agency, its coming into being and its central characters. Few characters from your stories and few not, so as to fill out the prologue and give the Agency its structure. Its relations with sister agencies, etc.

Thanks.


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 Post subject: Re: Spy Story
PostPosted: 23 Oct 2009 12:50 pm 
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Very Gripping story, Thanks Dileep

Guys can you tell me where can i get the Spy Story -1 written by Dileep


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 Post subject: Re: Spy Story
PostPosted: 23 Oct 2009 02:20 pm 
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brilliant work, saar....keep it up....I had hoped the plot would extend a bit longer.....do inform us when you publish the book.


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 Post subject: Re: Spy Story
PostPosted: 23 Oct 2009 03:20 pm 
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Thank you Dileep for a very good story. I hope you keep writing. :)


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 Post subject: Re: Spy Story
PostPosted: 23 Oct 2009 03:31 pm 
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Great story, Dileep! I've been eagerly following it over the past few weeks.


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 Post subject: Re: Spy Story
PostPosted: 23 Oct 2009 04:23 pm 
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KiranM wrote:
Just a suggestion. Can you write a prologue? About the agency, its coming into being and its central characters. Few characters from your stories and few not, so as to fill out the prologue and give the Agency its structure. Its relations with sister agencies, etc.

Thanks.


+1

Dilip Saar... It will be Gr8 if you write a story abt the agency

Thanks


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 Post subject: Re: Spy Story
PostPosted: 23 Oct 2009 04:34 pm 
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dileep ji, a HUGE well done once again ! way to go ! I dearly hope you don't waste this talent like singha ji and continue penning.
kiran's idea is a good one IMO.

@ kiran, I find I share your book interests. may be we can discuss here ?
viewtopic.php?f=24&t=3930

@ sandipan, it's in the scenarios archives. I think the link is also given in some place in the first pages of this thread.


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 Post subject: Re: Spy Story
PostPosted: 23 Oct 2009 04:57 pm 
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Awesome work Dileep, thank you! Yours is one of the few threads I watch and it’s sad that it’s come to an end like all good things must. I hope your next work takes us deep into napaki land via Nepal all the way to assassinating some kushboo loving hakimulla jalani in Herat, Karokh for attacking Indian Embassy, and getting dawood for good measures in the heart of Karachi.

I suggest Dileep should be banned from posting in any other thread, and allowed only to write jingo literature.

Any suggestions for withdrawal symptoms?


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 Post subject: Re: Spy Story
PostPosted: 23 Oct 2009 05:18 pm 
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BajK, Creativity cant be forced!

Dileep to keep the creativity going try to work on a prologue as to how and why the firm was created.. Sort of like Silamarillon by Tolkien.

How about using ArmenT's web trawler to compile the earlier story and put in one thread? That should keep one busy while Dileep spins a new story.


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 Post subject: Re: Spy Story
PostPosted: 23 Oct 2009 05:22 pm 
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i missed coming in to br for sometime, and this dileep's spy story. Waiting for the whole thing to complete, and read it. sounds like dileep will end up with a good book.


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 Post subject: Re: Spy Story
PostPosted: 24 Oct 2009 12:45 am 
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I am in the process of compiling the book. It came to 50+ chapters, 260-290 pages in standard paperback size.

The chapter on "Link to the past" was specifically written for this forum, which will not make any sense in the book. I got to write a chapter to provide the background. I will post it here once done.

My employer kicked off a new project in the last week, so the slack is no longer there. That is FYI

Is there anyone who has links with publishing world? Also, if there is someone who can work as an editor on a "pay only if published" basis, I would be glad to use the services.


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 Post subject: Re: Spy Story
PostPosted: 24 Oct 2009 02:29 am 
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Dileep,

You can contact me at avarachan DOTT 97 ATt gmail dott comm. I can't be a big help (right now, at least), but perhaps I can put you in touch with some people.


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 Post subject: Re: Spy Story
PostPosted: 24 Oct 2009 07:52 am 
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Dileep,

It was brilliant, rivetting and educational too! I was following this everyday. Like a breath of fresh air in BR! Keep writing sir, you have a natural flair.

I have a classmate of mine who publishes books, both in English and Regional languages. Would urge you to write in Malayalam too! If you are interested I can put you both in touch. Do let me know.

Thank you sir, and thank your employers too for giving you the slack time.

It was said of Sir Arthur Conon Doyle (creator of Sherlock Holmes) - "Blessed were the patients who did not get ill and disturb the good doctor (Sir Arthur was a doctor)for we got the famous Sherlock Holmes thereby." Applies to you to dear sir.

May more stories flow from your mind and pen more often!


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 Post subject: Re: Spy Story
PostPosted: 24 Oct 2009 11:34 am 
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Raja Ram, thanks for the nice words.

Yes, please introduce me to your friend. Any help in publishing is welcome. You can e-mail me at dileepks on the gmail service.


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 Post subject: Re: Spy Story
PostPosted: 24 Oct 2009 04:25 pm 
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I come from my work tour and what I find, the spy story has ended! It was brilliant. It was entertaining and one thing to look forward to on a daily basis.

Thanks for the story sir and keep more coming! Hopefully you will find a publisher and get this thing out of the door, let us know and we will definitely buy one!

Some suggestions or questions:

1. What happens to Vijay Bhaskar and his wife? By moving North, does his wife realise that by not adopting some "fashions" she almost put national security at risk :wink:

2. Does Meiji tired of Adung becomes a double agent? That would be interesting.

3. I missed the reaction within Chinese sub. It would be interesting to know that they come all the way to snoop and they suffer some breakdowns both nervous and mechanical and Indians offer them help to get them along. 8)


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 Post subject: Re: Spy Story
PostPosted: 25 Oct 2009 01:54 am 
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Thanks Disha. Here are answers for you.

disha wrote:
1. What happens to Vijay Bhaskar and his wife? By moving North, does his wife realise that by not adopting some "fashions" she almost put national security at risk :wink:

Like any other 'traditiona' woman, the only things she cares about her husband's job are the salary and the 'designation'. She 'don't know and don't care' what he does, so she fail to understand what is all the hoopla about. When she moved up north, they live in a secluded quarters of the company in the middle of nowhere. There are a few mallus and tams around in the quarters, so she is happy.

Vijaya Baskar, being a wimp, can never take an initiative in the adultery department. He just watches on the sly and drools.

Quote:
2. Does Meiji tired of Adung becomes a double agent? That would be interesting.


As far as I know, pay her some good money and promise her a pampered life, she would put poison in Adung's tea.

Quote:
3. I missed the reaction within Chinese sub. It would be interesting to know that they come all the way to snoop and they suffer some breakdowns both nervous and mechanical and Indians offer them help to get them along. 8)

We wish! The will die at the bottom of the sea, rather than take the yindoo help.

Anyway, the Han took rounds. Never found the Delaware. Heard the 'Diesel Overture' played over Panchajanyam by Ramesh Menon and left. They didn't even hear the 'peek-a-boo' as they had left early.

I originally considered a longer section about the Han and Delaware. But later decided against it.


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 Post subject: Re: Spy Story
PostPosted: 25 Oct 2009 02:34 am 
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Sandipan wrote:
Very Gripping story, Thanks Dileep

Guys can you tell me where can i get the Spy Story -1 written by Dileep

Link to Spy Story - 1 http://forums.bharat-rakshak.com/viewtopic.php?f=18&t=2049&start=0
There are multiple stories going in this thread though.


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 Post subject: Re: Spy Story
PostPosted: 25 Oct 2009 04:08 am 
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Dileep, once you are ready for the editing stage I can help out with the editing (as long as deadlines are mostly reasonable and known in advance).


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 Post subject: Re: Spy Story
PostPosted: 25 Oct 2009 11:32 pm 
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ArmenT wrote:
Sandipan wrote:
Very Gripping story, Thanks Dileep

Guys can you tell me where can i get the Spy Story -1 written by Dileep

Link to Spy Story - 1 http://forums.bharat-rakshak.com/viewtopic.php?f=18&t=2049&start=0
There are multiple stories going in this thread though.



ArmenT, Can you consolidate using your magic software and put in one thread for the benefit of all?

Thanks, ramana


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 Post subject: Re: Spy Story
PostPosted: 26 Oct 2009 02:14 am 
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Ramana, I already have all scenarios in a word file ( except Mil Sc - XII), and can separate Dileep's portions from Mil Sc - V dhaga onwards.

Are you willing to post Spy Story - 1 as a separate thread.


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 Post subject: Re: Spy Story
PostPosted: 26 Oct 2009 04:11 am 
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Might as well for the interest it has created.


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 Post subject: Re: Spy Story
PostPosted: 26 Oct 2009 09:15 am 
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Ramanaji, I have started editing my word file to a format suitable for posting on BRF. I already have material ready for a couple of pages.

1,) Should I start a thread titled "Spy Story - 1" and post the story as quotes refering to Dileep.

2.) Should I first finish the editing work and mail the contents to you. (in which case pls provide me your email). This will however take a couple of days.

3.) The text will contain only Dileep's work.

Pls advise.


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 Post subject: Re: Spy Story
PostPosted: 26 Oct 2009 03:31 pm 
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Your call here mate. I've already got everything separated in HTML format and can upload a zip file if needed.


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 Post subject: Re: Spy Story
PostPosted: 26 Oct 2009 04:42 pm 
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Arghh... I was away for a week and guess what... The story is over..not fair.. :((

On a serious note, Awesome work Dileepetta. It is not everyday I , among many others, was looking forward to an update in a story thread even from the workplace. Thank You..

Quote:
The woods are lovely dark and deep, but I have promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep.


Waiting for the SS-3


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 Post subject: Re: Spy Story-2
PostPosted: 02 Nov 2009 08:17 pm 
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Dileep-ji

Great story and gripping narration. Really enjoyed each and every post!


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 Post subject: Re: Spy Story-2
PostPosted: 04 Nov 2009 06:00 am 
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Location: New Delhi
Deelip Sir,

The climax ended in perfect way. In last days it was really very difficult to wait even few hours for updates. It was like a H'wood thriller movie. Thanks very much for the story. Please start new story.

Regards

Madhusoodan


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