Bakistan: Emirate of New-clear Inquilabi States-Bojitiv Newj

Shreeman · Post by **Shreeman** » 01 Jan 2016 08:49

What happens when bakistani DNA and goat DNA are mixed?

The bakistani gets kicked out of the animal fair.

What was the bakistani doing at the animal fair?

He was not really into goats, he was there celebrating his wife's 9th birthday.

wig · Post by **wig** » 01 Jan 2016 10:15

bolitical plash neuj ! new bolitical barty bith binning compination to be launched

Time to party (again) Having given up on The Great Khan, the powers-that–be are planning to launch yet another party (groan). This one is meant to contain hefty people from amongst those who have Sinned — the highly strung ZM, the old war-horse Mush himself, the ubiquitous P of P etc. And from the Punjab, the Chaudhry Duo and some other leftovers. Will “they” ever learn?

& pack to regular brogramming

Myth unravelled The recent shocking story of a class 8 teenage student’s gang rape at a seedy hotel in Lahore is not as straightforward as it seems. Our mole reports that the girl arranged to meet her boyfriend, a young man connected to the ruling party, at the hotel for a tryst and while there, the couple had an argument, after which there was a heated exchange of words followed by blows. Hearing the commotion, a group of revellers in the adjoining room came out into the corridor, whereupon the young girl also came out of her room. Her boyfriend, meanwhile, called the girl’s uncle and asked him to come to the designated room in the same hotel to fetch his niece. He then left the hotel, leaving the girl to await her family. Once the family had gathered, they decided to call the police. The latter was told that the girl’s friend had brought her to the hotel on false pretences, drugged and raped her. They then added another twist to the tale — the revellers next door, engaged in their own colourful “mujra” party, assaulted the girl at her friend’s behest. The family stuck to this story, the girl’s boyfriend having fled. The revellers were detained and the myth only unravelled when the DNA results came in. The tests proved that the couple had been engaged in a consenting relationship, and that there was no evidence of any extraneous encounters. Nonetheless, the girl is a minor and an offence had been committed. But since the DNA results came in, the girl’s family have showed an unwillingness to pursue the matter

http://www.thefridaytimes.com/tft/such-gup-118/

Shreeman · Post by **Shreeman** » 01 Jan 2016 10:38

If pillion riding is panned in bakistan then how will the cheen bakistan ekonomic korridor pe puilt? Where will the pillions come from?

Chinmayanand · Post by **Chinmayanand** » 01 Jan 2016 13:27

I wish 72 hooris for all baki mards in al 2016.

deejay · Post by **deejay** » 01 Jan 2016 13:54

Chinmayanand wrote:I wish 72 hooris for all baki mards in al 2016.

Aamin!

arijitkm · Post by **arijitkm** » 01 Jan 2016 14:44

Intolerance in Bakistan

Train departing before namaz

Shreeman · Post by **Shreeman** » 04 Jan 2016 09:58

diyar maulaner,

it would appiyar the kuffar are ujing laard in their embalming vitamins for diyar dipparted muhajids. plij to convey hadeeths regarding the imbakt on on availpility of 72. since bakistani governmand takes its ovn sveet time in aksepting the muhajid pack it is quite a bickle, if you will bardon the bun.

ij laard thusly ujed an imbediment or kan it be ujed as supstitute bhor vajeline with the 72? Will the all mersibhul in charje of 72 understand the jillat of the kuffar or just turn the muhaji away py smell?

Chinmayanand · Post by **Chinmayanand** » 04 Jan 2016 13:07

In cave cumblex in Raw-al-pindi , badmash shareef met masood azhar and hafeez big.He exbressed his grief at boor execution and no target achieved at Bathankot .

To this mota masood reblied that hij muj had to counter the suberior kafir forces aided py Satan and if the great commandu had abbrehensions apout muj talent , he cud carry out a similiar oberation on baki air pase to brove the muj credentials. He plamed ISI for intelligence leak .

Hearing this Hafeez big stoked his free blowing peard and uttered softly ," what will they know of sacrifice in orifice who surrender in thousands ?"

Suddenly the atmosbhere was taken apack py couble of pindi chana exblosions. The pheeni pheeni khuspoo was taken as a good omen sent py arrah taraah for success in cumming oberations and the meeting was adjourned with light heart full of biss . When the commanducum gaandu came out of cave cum blex , he was greeted with chants of Bakistan ko araah hafij woh phi big hafiz.

Chinmayanand · Post by **Chinmayanand** » 05 Jan 2016 13:10

Lal Topi returns after Ghazwa-e-Pehind. Alhamdulillah

Lalmohan · Post by **Lalmohan** » 05 Jan 2016 18:27

i always wonderings iph lal topi (of mijjile) is caused by ghazwa-e-behind or naat?

Shreeman · Post by **Shreeman** » 07 Jan 2016 12:27

What do you kawl a blane biloted by bakistani murd.
An unmanned aircraft. Basically a cruije mijjile.

....
....

what? you thought ladiej were going to fly blanes in bakistan? Sharm, sharm. who would let their goats, wives or sisters commit such infamy. Berish the thought.

BeS: murd who kan fly blanes are djinns,no mere kufr men!

Shreeman · Post by **Shreeman** » 07 Jan 2016 23:08

Kweschen: why was the pulp aphraid of going to bakistan?

They screw pulps there!

Kweschen: Hwy did apdul screw the pulp in lahwore?

He waj horny and the nurses dont wiyar hijap.

Kweschen: Hou do you stop bakistanij phrom screwing pulps?

Why wud you want to? Put if you did, shriya, inkluding phul hijap for nursej and only male nursej in hijap for apduls and pulps.

kweschen: hwy ij the bakistani ekonomy in trouple?

They keep having to py moar pulps!

Kweschen: hwy doej bakistan havw low gas prejjure?

Pekauje pulps prevent gas from eskabing!

RCase · Post by **RCase** » 08 Jan 2016 14:54

Lalmohan wrote:i always wonderings iph lal topi (of mijjile) is caused by ghazwa-e-behind or naat?

It ij caujed due to ijlamic rite of ser-cum-sheesh-un(cobered) for the mard. Onlee one head can be cobered at any taime. ghazwa habbens after madrassa training.

Lalmohan · Post by **Lalmohan** » 08 Jan 2016 17:54

shreemanullah - are ju boling about bulbuddin ghusaomatyar?

Chinmayanand · Post by **Chinmayanand** » 08 Jan 2016 23:13

Lal brafessor , joo r full of tupelight momentz.

py 2050 , indians 40 times dekho no money than al bakistan
ya arrah , green flag wud fly on lal kila if naat paki laal topi alwayz available

Lalmohan · Post by **Lalmohan** » 10 Jan 2016 18:08

diyar cheen-mein-anand-ullah, ju are boling cheeni ekonaamiks... and ve all knowing vat happen with shanghai stats, hair ji?

Mukesh.Kumar · Post by **Mukesh.Kumar** » 10 Jan 2016 18:28

diyar cheen-mein-anand-ullah, something is wrang in your hisaab kitaab. dis ladli is lying. Ebhery wun no's that 1 Baki= 10 Yindoo's. Therefore first taim u say that Yindia is only 4 times Bakistan. By the taim you say that again, Yindia bhill becum 0.4 taims Bakistan. And so on so farth.

Did not Lalmullah say refer Shanghai stats

Chinmayanand · Post by **Chinmayanand** » 10 Jan 2016 19:13

Maulanas , my madarsa math is pased on the brincible that no matter bhat habbens, al Bakistan always wins.
Bhen indian economy grows to 40 times of al baki dekho no money , py that time Bakistan wud have gone lovely to Arrah or to but in urdu " arrah ko byaare ho gaye" .Put the brafessars in LMU can't dishearten nanha muj with simble math. Hence madarasaa math abblied furiously as & bhen needed.

Chinmayanand · Post by **Chinmayanand** » 11 Jan 2016 16:33

I have a booch. Bhat will habben to mujahids if al Bakistan goes ub in blumes in a nook war bith neighpours
Will al bakis go ub in jannat and get 72 virgins
Does jannat hab 72*20 crore virgins ? If naat , how can arrah tarrah jack up the broduction rate of al hooris .
Shud arrah taraah seek helb from al Bakistan ?

vdutta · Post by **vdutta** » 11 Jan 2016 23:47

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqToUQcSOxY

habal · Post by **habal** » 15 Jan 2016 12:58

Kindly provide caption:

Lalmohan · Post by **Lalmohan** » 15 Jan 2016 15:01

"you are a very naughty boy! now go and sit on the naughty step till i call you!"

member_29089 · Post by **member_29089** » 20 Jan 2016 21:10

"Sharif! Why are you so shy when i gently touch you here?"

member_29089 · Post by **member_29089** » 20 Jan 2016 21:17

Move ober Laal Dopy there is a pigger consbiracy that ju missed while ju'r axs waj peing whipped

Rana · Post by **Rana** » 21 Jan 2016 02:31

Number of Swine flu patients on rise in Rawalpindi
http://www.thenews.com.pk/latest/92505- ... Rawalpindi

There is no swine in Bakistan, so how bossible? We shud betition to change its naam, so Apduls can still get their 72.

rsingh · Post by **rsingh** » 21 Jan 2016 21:10

x-bosting onlee

NSN- Banglore (Kerala). Bharat chodo one more fizai daiyara towards heavens. BSLV as it is called was allegedly carying a sattelite to complete Bhartia's version of GPS (PBUH). Butt critiks say there was no need of creatiing new GPS system as we have one already in place. bakistani satellinte end GPS specialists say that one can not belive such a poor country need another GPS system while they are provided free acces to American mai baap. it is well knowen that India is working on an ultiamte weapon called KALI. A well knowen source from the corridore of ISI headquarter confirmed that actually Bharat is assembling KALI in outer space which will be aable to hit any where in da world.
On other haath, Ram Krisjhna Vishnu of "The hindu" newspaper has more has found that almost 1000000000 M³ of highly toxic smoke is released for every launch which has caused asthma in the minority Muslim population livig near the te"st site. mangrove trees are gone. pink beyy turtle population is brought to ectinction. It has been suggested that Bharat's khlai launches alone is responsible for 10% of global warning .

wig · Post by **wig** » 22 Jan 2016 12:41

plash neuj! rikobery broceedings

It may be old news, but one that reflects staggering official incompetence. The original NABBER, as designated in the Mush era, signed an an asset recovery agreement with Broadsheet, an Isle of Mann company, way back in 2000. The company was supposed to help Pakistan recover stolen wealth from abroad. In fact, the agreement was to trace, locate & recover. So far so good.

But here’s the best part: Broadsheet had been in existence for 40 days and had a capital stock of £200, yes two hundred pounds only! The agreement was that NAB would only pay 20% of any recovery made by Broadsheet. As it transpired, the Government of Pakistan paid them $1.5 million out of the $7.5 million paid by ex-Navy Chief Admiral Mansur ul Haq as part of his plea bargain. The government went on to rescind the agreement in 2003, Broadsheet has now sued the government, and the matter has gone to the International Arbitration Council. For an explanation of this monumental bungling, please see the next item.

How it all began

Once there was a king who wanted to go on shikar. He called the royal weather forecaster and asked for the weather forecast. The weatherman said no chance of rain. So the king went hunting. On the way he met a farmer on his donkey. The farmer said, “Your Majesty, please return to the palace because it’s about to rain”. The king said: “the palace meteorologist is an educated, experienced professional, whom I pay high wages. He gave me a different forecast. He says no rain, so I’ll carry on”. But a short time later a torrential rain began. The King was soaked, and furious, he returned to the palace and sacked the professional. Then he summoned the farmer and offered him the job of royal forecaster. The farmer said, “Your Majesty, I don’t know anything about forecasting. I get my information from my donkey. If I see my donkey’s ears drooping, it means that it will rain.”

So the king hired the donkey.

And thus began the practice of hiring dumb asses to work in the government and occupy its highest positions. This practice continues to date

http://www.thefridaytimes.com/tft/such-gup-121/

Lalmohan · Post by **Lalmohan** » 22 Jan 2016 21:48

GunterH wrote:"Sharif! Why are you so shy when i gently touch you here?"

friendship taller than brokeback mountain?

wig · Post by **wig** » 24 Jan 2016 13:57

no kamment!

The Pentagon spent millions of dollars importing nine rare Italian goats to Afghanistan in a bid to boost the local cashmere industry, it has emerged. The goats went missing, presumed eaten, and the $6m (£4.2m) project was never completed, a US government investigator has concluded.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world ... 26251.html

vishvak · Post by **vishvak** » 24 Jan 2016 20:29

Now total TFTA mard pilots can ride the cheeni ghoda by pulling headcollar by the left hand and whipping like Saudis with right hands.

deWalker · Post by **deWalker** » 25 Jan 2016 07:25

vishvak wrote:

Now total TFTA mard pilots can ride the cheeni ghoda by pulling headcollar by the left hand and whipping like Saudis with right hands.

Wow! That IFR probe is compensating for something. You know, most likely for small d*cks.

vdutta · Post by **vdutta** » 05 Feb 2016 17:18

Either all of them look alike or america never killed Saddu and installed him in Pakistan.

gandharva · Post by **gandharva** » 05 Feb 2016 20:01

WTF!! Who does this kind of $hit?

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=3eb_1454680117

#NSFW

vdutta · Post by **vdutta** » 05 Feb 2016 23:16

gandharva wrote:WTF!! Who does this kind of $hit?

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=3eb_1454680117

#NSFW

Nothing unusual, just a family event.

Muh dikhai of new dulhan, thats it.

vishvak · Post by **vishvak** » 06 Feb 2016 01:00

Waat eij on going in khaas majjid? Are some becoming less green and more green, after maulana was habing a time of life in majjid-e-khaas?

With less green against more green,
khaasi-e-green-ullah

member_29089 · Post by **member_29089** » 07 Feb 2016 11:02

Jirga Logs,

I am combiling names oph our cuntry - which are currently in use - pliss to att to the list as my memories are phailing - AoA

- Bakistan
- Porkistan
- Poakstan
- Poaqstan
- Shitistan
- Bhikharistan
- Shytistan
- BhenCh**Stan
- 4FatherStan
- NangaStan
- BhookhaStan
- Rapistan
- RabidStan
- BachaBaziStan
- STUFUPSTAN
- MushFuqStan
- FukraStan (Rhymes with Kabrastan)
- GoatLoveStan
- LoveGoatStan
- LostBanglaStan

Gagan · Post by **Gagan** » 13 Feb 2016 06:42

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DfYenhJmeCM

vishvak · Post by **vishvak** » 13 Feb 2016 08:21

Hazrat Zahil Hammid (Saudi return with du-el-certificate, PBUH, Hero of Pakistani fan clubs, strategic analyst of entire middle east) having a go at Arap forefathers.
For most masaledar comments, 9:00 onwards, first few seconds giving excuse about Pakis didn't send jihadi army to aid ISIL.

gandharva · Post by **gandharva** » 14 Feb 2016 17:43

Bhailentine Day Special.

Two girls marry brothers for Canada nationality
http://nation.com.pk/national/25-Oct-20 ... ationality

Baikul · Post by **Baikul** » 23 Feb 2016 22:05

Falijee wrote:After ]Halal Food In Pakiland , It Is Halal Cosmetics Now
. . . He said besides halal food, government will also ensure halal cosmetics (haram ingredients in the non halal products ?)in the country.

SSridhar wrote:Alcohol, for example. Many Middle Eastern countries do so. I am surprised that Pakistan was not following such a practice so far.

Cross post-e-d from 72 thread.

Mauleners i have a pooch.

Ij potty halal or haraam? If it is haraam, what is it doing in our podies in the first blace, hain ji?

It it ij in our pody, then it haj to be halal no? Otherwise why would arrah put it there in first blace?

Mauleners I habe not gone potty for 72 hours, plij advije.

Jures,

Consti-paad-e-d-lee.