Ha! You really set me off there.
Indian air travellers, esp, INSIDE India and COMING TO India, are absolutely the worst oiseules. Which is a very proud achievement, to be worse than French, Chinese and even Pakis (fortunately I have not had to travel a lot with Pakis). Women are no better than men, either.
5 examples that stick in my mind:
1. Malloostan to BOM, some years back. Plane stops, and these idiots RUSH to the front. I get up slowly, and move into the aisle at my row to get my bag out of the overhead bin, and this Mumbai type woman crashes into me, then exclaims loudly,
arre yaar, why you are bumping into me?
I asked her if there was a particular reason why she couldn't wait at her seat until the people ahead had left, and why she felt that she had to come push past me. Set her off into a screeching frenzy on how she is so small it would be physically impossible for her to be pushing anyone, etc, etc, fortunately ignored by all.
2. DUBAI, July 2010: Kingfisher counter opens, and I am walking the 2 steps to join the line already forming. This young Tamil jackass RACES to cut in front of me, like an Ernakulam auto rickshaw. OK. A few minutes go by - a fat Tamil woman RUSHES in, saying "FOUR PEOPLE!!" and pushes in front of me, joining said jackass.
After a while Supreme HQ asks: "hey, how did these people get in front of us?" I explained to her in Angreji that that they are Go-Getters, bloody rude, they will sit in the FRONT of the plane so that they can get there early. The jackass fortunately saw that there was a small space open in the line to the right of me, and cut his whole family into that space.
3. Same long night - standing in line at Kingfisher counter at BOM, to check into flight to Malloostan. This idiot comes in and pushes his cart to the left of where everyone is standing, getting ahead. Supreme HQ tells him, "Sir,the line is there (pointing back), please go and join it there". The idiot claims that there are TWO lines (and we are all standing there because we are not Einsteins like him..)
OK, that one got it from me, first in Angreji, and since he seemed clueless there, I obliged him in chaste Central Malloostani, dusting off linguistic skills unused since dealing with the Maileepadam Thendis soccer team many years ago, asking if he thought we were all just standing around enjoying the moonlight, and why he thought there were two lines when there was clearly only ONE check-in counter and person ahead. Fortunately due to the 30-hour trip fatigue it did not occur to me to ask if he was in the Ladies' Queue. Since several of those standing around certainly understood Malloostani, he seemed rather hurt. Whined that ppl in Dubai were abusing him (wonder why) and now even ppl in India were abusing him
I told him he would be fine if he just observed basic courtesies and awaited his turn.
So he let us go ahead, and cut in before the poor people behind us.
4. And that was just over when this idiot porter pushes a baggage cart to cut in same way, so in the interests of Fairness, he got it in Hindi and backed off immediately. I guess I need to brush up on my cuss words in Tamil, Kannada and Telugu too. Please provide some good statements to use, thx.
Amazingly, though, at BOM the baggage claim was semi-civilized, not so many carts jammed right up against the carousel for people to fall over. Or maybe it took so long for our bags to come that most of the Go-Getters had left.
5. Got on the plane to Malloostan, and the guy sitting next to us (first row) is on the cellphone even as the pilot starts his announcement - and get this - THE INTERFERENCE CAME THROUGH LOUD AND CLEAR, WIPING OUT THE ANNOUNCEMENT. That's the first time I have seen live proof of why they tell ppl not to use cellphones on the plane after the door is closed.
The flt attendant, with incredible politeness, asked him to put the cellphone away. On US flights, the sh1thead would have been dragged off by 3 fat TSA football players and put in a urine-filled room to await interrogation. Probably some CEO or Babu.
6. Per desi etiquette, I gather that all this makes me the Ugliest Injun of all - one is supposed to never comment in public on the rudeness of others. I wish more ppl would yell at queue-jumpers and safety-rule-scofflaws, though.
In recent years, I see more and more of the cellphone-up-the-ear generation behaving like utter idiots. One (desi I mean) kept coming into our lab in open chappals, until I sent him home to put shoes on. Buggers cut corners on every rule, with the attitude that rules are all meant for other ppl.
Currently waiting for results of my kind treatment of that worthy ..