Some time ago in the year 1998 Bribal Misra’s red phone rang,
Hello Birbal here…
Saar Ravindren Chanrdan here he was slightly sweating could be the heat of the month May or may be the slightly perplexing shape size of the mound that he had seen couple of minutes ago for the investment poured in..
BM: Ah! My friend how is our under ground investment doing, hope yields are going to be good?
RC: I am confident saar, everything looks ok but in investments like this we should not go by short term results but long analysis will gives better clues to balance the investment, he professed hedging his bets just in case.
BM: Please put Abu Talim also on the call to get his perspective
AT: Hello BM saar, the investment looks ok but even if the yields are not as wanted we can do some more things at our end, the ever optimistic AT replied in confidence..
BM: So we still 3 more investments in the portfolio to diversify no?
AT and RC both on the speaker phone yes of course.
BM: So we will have some more data to do ROI and the vehicle to put this investment on top for delivery to the customer when he ask for it, and it will serve him right (away)?
AT and RC: We are sure about it saar.
BM: Good Show very well done the country is proud of your team, convey our congratulation to the teams and shortly I will see you with your teams in Indraprasth.
BM was busy after two days slightly modifying the previous claim of maha bum with more mature message to assuage the ruffled feathers of unkil, who was fuming and jumping up and down like Samty Sam. BM the shrewd strategist that he is known to be called on cabinet minister Balwant Singh (popularly called as BS by opposition party Kangress).
BM called out hello BS how are you? Fine Sirji replied BS. You know BM began slowly theodicy bewafyee ho gayi and paused for a reaction, BS raised his eyebrows Kis baat pe? Yeh Jo investment kal persaon kiyatha, looks like the investment yields are not commensurate with what we expected out of the portfolio.
BS said I got it sirji I now understand why the 6th sense prevailed and we called it off. Good thinking sirji.
BM, thanks but I am going to delegate to you more responsibility, this Dalmott guy from spin city is itching for a show off, we need to cool him down, and I also suspect those ullu’s got a whiff of the investment portfolio. Now it was sinking into BS the ex army officer and well read man. He was already worried man that there must be a mole somewhere in sensitive parts of this body (of closed administration), but he kept to himself never revealing anything, after all he was an officer and gentleman with a code of honor and chivalry unsurpassed even in the 18th century, in the current day Hindustan politics.
Meanwhile BM continued the way out of this, I see is lets declare a unilateral moratorium of no more investment till we take stock of the situation and at the same time enunciate a very vague Minimally Deterrent Doctrine, which will side track from the investment mess and at the same time continue with ambiguity that chota mota maal is good enough, and the big one was POC. That way the ******** up north will not be rattled too much. As for Dalmott , he is used to chai pani and chand biscoots so keep him busy call him over to your palace, and for a change meet him in Europe’s best chateaus. If he says he knows exactly then tell him why are you so worked up, its never against US, beside slide in the acronym NFU (you and me know its means No F***$%g U) so that he knows for second strike, We have miles to go before we sleep and we cant keep going miles because of bad investments already is going to hurt the economy! If required make his eyes moist. Tell him the story of how we never invaded any country, we always welcomed everybody, including Red Chinese to Tibet!
BS was getting little impatient with this hand holding after all his initials speak for his acumen. Yes Sir Ji I got the drift and mission.
BM continued only the Akhand leader, his deputy volatile LW (Lalmohan Wadwani aka Last Word) you and I know this yields. Of course the investment portfolio managers know this subprime investment yields. Its messy sometimes science becomes art especially when equations of state are not understood, you and I know very well how we are being harassed by Amma from south, based on her state of equation of mind!
BS was playing chess in his mind and that two multi dimensional chess, one opponent Dalmott, one the lizard up north, one blood sucking bed bug (Khatmal) to the west, boy I see lot of chand biscoots and Chai paani consumed and that too late night!
But there was silver lining in all this, one thing we now have data on how to invest in future, we know which company components worked, which did not work, or partially worked. He always thought glass is half full. The chotus are sure to perform, but the motus need a little trimming and fine tuning, and our managers are brilliant they can come up with some way of getting them to perform in about another twenty four years, anyway we don’t need to invest again very soon. It's not all bad, but the most important thing is keep the status quo, don’t surrender the option to invest in future, the nationalist in him was sounding alarms.
Thanks to BS he dragged the talks, meanwhile thanks also to the bearded idiots who went and invested their own smuggled funds and made tit for tat yields. That made life of BS a little easy and as he was engaged in marathon Chai Biscoot sessions. The world's biggest investment boss himself was hit by his commission agents. They hit the world investment center the big boss head quarters.
Balwant Singh was genuinely concerned that after all we are democracies and the fundamental concept of civilized behavior was breached and civilians targeted by terrorists. He along with the entire cabinet called on the president and offered unconditional intelligence sharing and also physical assets on this occasion.
The pressure and interest in the results of investment waned for a while.
But the cabinet decided if and when the new GOI is formed they would share the completely the information about investments and the strategic dialogue about the investment with worlds biggest investor!