This scribe also had a chance to meet Madhu Mehsud alias 'Fani', the deputy of Qari Husain at Shakatoi. The strongly-built Madhu, who is in his late twenties, is assigned the task of making arrangements for suicide bombers while moving around the country.
NSN Reports: Shakatak, Waziristan
Following reports from certain kufr websites that they had met the elusive Madhu alias ‘Fani’ who manages the soosai bummers of Waziristan under the aegis of the Ipi of Tombi and the Akhand of Bha’rat’zai, NSN reporters braved the wild and rugged mountains of Waziristan to make contact with the other six members of the dreaded terrorist freedom fighting cell known to be active in the region. Our mission, to understand first hand, what these seven dwarvish’es of the Mehsud lands were doing on the
Snow White mountains.
First we encountered Hanif Pappuzai, alias ‘Hapi’. We found him in the shadows of an orchard near to the derelict girl’s school polishing his RPG’s with a big smile on his face. He said he had not seen any bad Taliban, but judging by the shine on his mijjile, we were not so suar. Soon after, we found a man sleeping under a tree in the same orchard. He claimed his name was Needh-i-Suarsai alias ‘Sleepi’. ‘Hapi’ could not confirm that he was ‘Sleepi’ since he was not at the time and both were feeling Grumpi. ‘Sleepi’ could not offer us any further enlightenment other than some dried crushed leaves he kept in his pouch which he claimed as being particularly effective in helping to understand jihad; Grumpi seemed to be happy. Sleepi did say that the American spies were everywhere and pointed us towards the local village where it was said that the great national bird of Pakistan had recently left some droppings.
Outside the dusty village headman’s compound we found Dimaki Dorkzai, alias ‘Dopi’ who seemed to be the village idiot, although he was not as dusty as the headman. After some chai-biskoot, we felt he was close to telling us something important, however just then we were interrupted by a shy looking man calling himself By-kullah Mehsud, alias ‘Bash-ir Ful’. He seemed to be in some discomfort, saying he was a disciple of Bulbuddin Ghusaomatyar and complaining about the steep rise in mobile phone calls recently and how it was a right royal pain. But his appearance in the village soon became clear. Within minutes we were surrounded and then aggressively searched by Gundhee Gilani, alias ‘Gropi’ who said he was in charge of security and close searches. Having been thoroughly groped, aka searched, we were finally taken to meet with ‘Fani’, or Madhu Mehsud in the dusty headman’s courtyard. A rather jovial if strongly built man with black eye liner and a distinct fondness for our teenage cameraman but not for dusty headmen or their courtyards, he told us that come what may, he would not yield to the Pakistan Army.
“Inshallah!” he said, “by the grace of our leader, ‘Doc’ alias Doctor Cayman al Sharkawi, whose teachings opened our eyes, we will prevail in the greater jihad against the munafiqeen ‘enemy that is near’ aka Pakistan Army and make them yield to our eager advances. Whether by night or day, we will bring them to their knees in front of us and drive home our mijjiles!”
And so, the dwarvishes of the mountains swiftly gathered their AK47’s and RPG’s and humming a gentle pashtune tune, they disappeared amidst the hard hills of the Waziristan frontier from whence they came. The tune, which can be translated into English as ‘hiya-ho, hiya-ho, off to jihad we go!’ is still ringing in our ears.
This is NSN, digging deeper, paalishing harder.
Bhy phor the kuphar amrikhan dallars not abailable phor true mujahids. It ij looking like el-chepo led lips chini made bersion of amrikhan Jelly splingel show..
