Bharat Rakshak

RamaY wrote:

Sanku wrote:Tanaji, almost right, but not Rajiv Gandhi....

It took me couple of reads to make the connection . The real-kick comes when a story stimulates reader imagination .

Keep it coming!!!

If I got it correctly has to be assassination of Ranasinghe Premadasa and Lalith Athulathmudali.

^^ Air Cmdr Jasjit Singh?

rkirankr wrote:^^ Air Cmdr ****?

Shhhhssssh....

This is imagination-invention anyway!

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Note --- folks, I will be without a net connection for next few days -- therefore the above is the last post for next few days before the access returns and I write again.

Please note, I am willingly withdrawing from the plugged in world, so advice on how to maintain network connectivity in isolated spots may not help.

Sanku wrote: Note --- folks, I will be without a net connection for next few days -- therefore the above is the last post for next few days before the access returns and I write again.

Please note, I am willingly withdrawing from the plugged in world, so advice on how to maintain network connectivity in isolated spots may not help.

April Fool?

No spring break.

Well i guess it was not april fool.
like manav's PD our adminulla should cancel sanku's holiday.
going out of networked world? even i want to do that, my ass is on fire.
but thanks to your flamingoes i can't pull out my own LAN cable.
Have some mercy.

Huuuuurrrrrrrrraaaaahhhhhh !!!

What a creative writer was hiding in Sanku ..... Simply superb !!!
Unleash the writer within , here on BRF .

I hate to start reading the stories before all the episodes are finished, Sanku ji. I just can't stop reading without knowing the end and beyond... However, I could not resist and I had to start reading this story... and now I am in position which I always wanted to avoid... WHAT NEXT, hain ji??

Short of someone trying a stunt with a long distance weapon, there was no way for the usual Jihadi to make much of dent anymore.

Sanku ji, here you are obviously alluding to the Dec 13, 2001 Parliament attack. Also, the explanation of three tiered security apparatus has got a lot of similarities with other highly protected goverment installations worldwide.

I also had a fleeting impression of the Oklahoma bombing when I read the security detail.

Klaus wrote:

Short of someone trying a stunt with a long distance weapon, there was no way for the usual Jihadi to make much of dent anymore.

Sanku ji, here you are obviously alluding to the Dec 13, 2001 Parliament attack.

Um yes, but that was almost a clear statement and not a allusion. This is really buried
(hint for literature enthusiasts)

before the siren's song got to him

Of course! Sanku ji, thou art brilliant! Please, please tell me I hit it this time?

The mechanism had been put in place by people who had dealt at close quarters with suicide jacket bombers, would be martyrs with Kalashnikovs, madmen ramming explosive filled trucks, the full range that the wonderful world of terror had to offer. They had learnt their lessons well, and it could be seen in their work, protecting the nerve center of Indian state.


Sankuji,

is this it , a reference to Israel probably ???

Well, quite interestingly, both the last interpretation could be valid, if I now that I reread that part. However the one that I had in mind was Room 101.

But morem we beat the Israelis hands down when it comes to handling those things (as a matter of expertise)

Sankuji

A small request: I would suggest that you do not go down the path where one implies "PM is the traitor" or something similar. You are using allegory heavily, and there is a large correlation of your characters with those in real life. Now if your story would imply that the PM is an agent (and surprise, allude tangentially to him being Sikh, Italian or whatever), the effect would be:

Admins closing down the story and thread
Admins disallowing future threads dedicated to stories.

This would queer the pitch for others as well.
I am not saying you are going to do what I said, I am just guessing.

I love this story and your effort, and the above is purely so that it continues to be available for us. Apologies if I sound like a spoil sport or am being presumptuous.

And here I was thinking that The Siren's Song was what you were talking about. BTW, there is a song by this name and a book also, if I am not mistaken.

Tanaji wrote: I love this story and your effort, and the above is purely so that it continues to be available for us. Apologies if I sound like a spoil sport or am being presumptuous.

Well Tanaji, first off, very valid points, you have been second guessing what may come quite closely if not quite there.

But disclaimers...

The PM will not be involved as an agent, rest assured on that count. Yet, the story is (fictional) account of power plays, and thus there will be moles etc as well contrasting pulls of influence. Furthermore, woe be me if I flesh out the PM as a Sikh or Italian or whatever.

But yes, I will use the PM's vision tangentially to structure the story and parts have already been written, further more the story may include moles of other powers. In fact some parts have already been written already. You will see those very shortly. (But this story WILL NOT involve PM and or other political positions beyond prop setting role, no Manchurian candidates or all that)

But some things
1) As you said allegory is heavily used, now the problem with allegory is that it can be interpreted differently, or allegory found where none exists, or even the actual allegory mentioned missed. (In fact all three have already happened one played out just now) so you will forgive me if some one takes my existing views and superimposes them on the story.

2) Removing the vagueness that I have deliberately put in will make the story lose its edge. I may have my own biases but I would like this to be grey story with no clear "right or wrong" but only protagonists. I want it open to interpretation if possible.

3) I would like some tension to remain in the story and not be totally politically correct

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Having said the above, thanks a bunch for the feedback, and I will keep that in mind, as also look forward to advise on course corrections if felt needed.

And remember this is fiction or to use the lovely phrase by Rahul, imagination-invention.

Wow!

Hmm... our Indian labs invented some technologies that "cannot be shared" with FGFA, that is why we want this project to fail?

Does it also mean India has a production ready alternative, at least in the story?

Waiting for the next part Sanku-ji!

Brilliant writing style infact it is too good for forum thread. The suspense that is being created is nicely paced. Good work Sanku

that was a google Sanku-ji. I am stumped

Vishwamitra wrote:that was a google Sanku-ji. I am stumped

Was it fun though? I hope no red lines were crossed. (Tanaji nearly guessed it close didn't he)

No Sanku no redlines were crossed, though readers almost crossed the edge of their seats...... you should publish your work, A++ stuff even better then Martin Cruz Smith..........

Your story line makes a great read. Looks like you are quite familiar with the way of internal functioning of the Govt or your imagination is too close to reality for comfort. Even sentences sometimes rings a bell.
However a minor nitpicking, hope you won't mind. Though your version is fine

Going by the bureaucratic behaviour, the reply by Commerce Secy seems out of sync for such a senior officer that too when RS is present who would be higher in protocol. Remember tribe always follows the strict protocol in presence of non tribe officials, especially technical ones.
The remarks by HAL Chairman was as it would be but Mr Khandelwal might remark that "Of course, we can't have any issues if it can be funded through internal savings and accruals and prioritising your projects. You might like to re-look at some of the economy measures suggested by MoF ."

Second point is that PMO officlal would never stand up unless he is far too junior, which is unlikely given the way he spoke overriding RS. Most likely it is Manav who might stand up but then again he might not , given his importance and independent character. PMO official would also not say that "I have decided ....." He is most likely to say that " In the light of facts presented and constraints of the situation Ihe appropriate course of action left to us would be.... I hope we all agree. " Then he would cut short the meeting and excuse himself and allow others to workout the details. Of course he would like to be informed of the progress so that PM could be briefed time to time.

But then your's is better than reality. Please carry on.

chaanakya wrote:
But then your's is better than reality. Please carry on.

Agreed, there are unusual uncharacteristic behaviors displayed in the meeting.

<<Iss aankh marne mein kai raaz chhupe hain, Dosto!

Sankuji... Awesome... The portrayal of the situation and the players involved is mindblowing.... Awaiting your next with impatientce...

Sanku can you pull out a couple of posts from the reserves? Waiting is killing now.........

Marvellous Sanku!!!
I can proudly say that no spy novel or no war/spy scenario exists on net that can compete with or BR scenario maestroes!!!

Superb SankuJI shat shat Salam

Awesome Sanku-ji, awesome!

Sankuji..
Thanks for your superb story!!!!

Very good imagery and situations. Can't wait for follow-ups.

ramana wrote:Very good imagery and situations. Can't wait for follow-ups.

Thanks Ramana Guru!!

Sanku sir, amazing work in the description of the landmark. Felt as if i was reading a novel, not just a story. Really great work, sir.

Very nice Sankuji, our BR writers are head and shoulder above what I have read thus far in espionage fiction.

An idle wondering, Keshav Prasadji and Shri B K Pandeyji appear to be personification of inept babus of our system - especially in Delhi. In Gujarat we have such babus from all strata’s of society.

An ideal pace and flow of story as well as postings. Look forward to reading your post everydin with eut-sukh-taa.

Nice rimjhim barsaat after the lull of hot and heavy weekend. Eagerly waiting for the next one!

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Sanku you should take up writing novels, people will forget Forsyth and Mclean!

Thanks Sanku.. u got real talent to details as well as writing skills.. pls keep it up.. just a Q. How u think of it??

Sanku-ji,

Great going!

A thought. Is there anyway our famingos nudge the current IPL conundrum in such a way that it shuts some anti-indian channels for terrorism etc; thus presenting some alternative outcomes.

Would like to see some extrapolations if it fits in your thought process.

Nice Honeypot addition !

Where Art Thou? Sankuji

Getting withdrawal symptoms, hurry please.