Bakistan: Emirate of New-clear Inquilabi States-Bojitiv Newj

Rishi · Post by **Rishi** » 05 Aug 2009 14:57

Seems like LMU grads are already on Twitter:

http://twitter.com/napaki (been there for some time! brilliant psyops)

http://twitter.com/lalbrofessor (starting out)

Any other?

rsharma · Post by **rsharma** » 05 Aug 2009 16:04

A few shining james from the Lalbrafessor Teetar site:

I got joos in my peard. I hate joos...

todin ij bad. i bhanted to go out to injpekt the wimmen widows op prave mujahids, but my burkha had gon phor washing. gah!

abbointment canshulled. KLPD. kushpoo ij bimaar. sigh. bhat to do now?

Bhere ophen is hears, the GUBO ka dard, And i can maalish my mijjil all day... (Orijinal compojition - Lal Brofessor, kopyrited)

Hiten · Post by **Hiten** » 05 Aug 2009 18:16

hai Ram! what tragedy Prophet Zaid Hamid's 4+ page wikipedia entry reduced to a single sentence [w/o even a comma to extend it]

Dilbu · Post by **Dilbu** » 05 Aug 2009 20:27

Pliss to see the halaal green map of bakistan. If jou think the chand is cutting off balochistan then jou are a kuffar YYY agent. 400 stribes for jou!!

Lauka · Post by **Lauka** » 05 Aug 2009 20:51

Wow!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4C2TSUsoD4

Atri · Post by **Atri** » 05 Aug 2009 21:01

Lauka wrote:Wow!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4C2TSUsoD4

He is the Kuffar YYY agint....

The Bious people do not need to work.. Allah is on our side, why should we work, hain?

negi · Post by **negi** » 05 Aug 2009 22:41

We bhant levenge

Suspected US dlone kills Pakistan Taliban chief's wife

Bakistan pans JuD, LeT, JeM

ArmenT · Post by **ArmenT** » 06 Aug 2009 02:37

x-posting from Nukkad thread:
Dunno if I should x-post this in the Paki thread, but this one is too precious. Lots of pakiness in here and towel throwing as well.
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/ye ... knet1.html

"Dex", the leader of Pranknet is actually a guy named Tariq Malik.

But a seven-week investigation by The Smoking Gun has begun to unravel "Dex"'s organization and chronicle the sprawl of its criminality. The TSG probe has also stripped Pranknet's leader and some of his cohorts of their anonymity, which will likely come as welcome news to the numerous law enforcement agencies, including the FBI, probing the group's activities.

On July 21, a pair of TSG reporters approached "Dex"'s building at 1637 Assumption Street in Windsor, where he lives in the ground-floor 'B' apartment. Calling to his mother, who was standing near an open living room window, a reporter asked her to summon her son. The woman disappeared into "Dex"'s adjoining bedroom, where the pair could be heard whispering. Despite repeated requests to come out and speak with TSG, "Dex" hid with his mother in his bedroom, the windows of which were covered with plastic shopping bags, a towel, and one black trash bag. TFTA Paki cowering in dark places

As the sun set and his room darkened, "Dex" did not reach to turn on a light. The notorious Internet Tough Guy, who has gleefully used the telephone to cause all kinds of havoc, was now himself panicking.Herrow is about to become a zerrow He had been found. And, as a result, was barricaded in Pranknet World Headquarters with his mom, while two reporters loitered outside his window and curious neighbors wondered what was up.
...
....
Tariq Malik, the 25-year-old founder and leader of Pranknet, decided to call the police.

It was a move that would have chagrined his devoted followers, whose "Dex" is a bombastic, sharp-tongued cop hater. On the mic, he is always ready to pulverize victims, denigrating them as weak faggots, pussies, cock gobblers, niggers, beaners, and every other racial slur imaginableTypical Pakiness here (though, notably, Malik does not take part in vicious chat room abuse directed at "Pakis,"More pakiness in action the group's catch-all term for Middle Eastern and Asian immigrants).

Cowering in his room with his mother,TFTA Paki cowering in dark places again Malik called 911 to report "suspicious persons" outside his home (it is unclear whether he used Skype to beckon cops).
....
....
Offline friends--if they even exist--are minimal. He is part of that young male subspecies that does not have a job or a girlfriend, passed on college,Possibly because he has ayesha instead and spends hours a day playing so-called first-person shooter games like "Counter-Strike," "Halo," and "Crossfire." Malik addresses everyone--including the Pranknet audience itself--as "Dude." He steals his Wi-Fi.More pakiness on display.. And he'd certainly be living in his mother's basement if she had one.

Typically, the man associates with other low-lifes as well

• Known online as "Hempster," William Marquis, 51, lives on Gilroy Drive in the Scarborough section of Toronto, Ontario. Pranknet's second-in-command, Marquis is a felon whose rap sheep includes convictions for drunk driving (2004) and marijuana production (2005).
...
Marquis was also busted in 1992 for his role in a $4 million hydroponic pot growing operation. When he appeared in an Oshawa courtroom, "a red-faced Marquis wept" during a bail hearing, according to the Toronto Star.

• Shawn Powell, known as "Slipknotpsycho," is a 24-year-old Texan on that state's sex offender registry. In May 2002, he was sentenced to 13 months in custody following his conviction on a felony charge of indecency with a minor (he admitted taking naked photos of an eight-year-old female relative). The unemployed Powell, whose rap sheet also includes a 2003 pot possession conviction, is a relative Pranknet newcomer and, as a result, apparently only the subject of one police investigation.

"Prankster" is Tyler Markle, who turns 19 later this month.
.....
On a recently deleted MySpace page, Markle (whose full name is James Tyler Markle) listed his body type as "6' 6" / Athletic," though that is an exaggeration, according to one source. He plays on a recreational softball team, dresses like a goth, and loves the "Twilight" series of books (his Twitter account, "3DW4RD_B3LL4," is an alphanumeric tribute to the vampire saga's main characters). Markle also happens to be a regular at the area's only gay bar, though he is not old enough to drink and lists his orientation as "Straight" on his former MySpace page. Fellow patrons would likely be interested to learn of his frequent homophobic rants while on the Pranknet mic, not to mention his repeated threats to violate men and women with a chair leg.

Anujan · Post by **Anujan** » 06 Aug 2009 02:50

^^^^

What ij there to laugh about hain ? Take 1000 stribes phor not recognizing a true bakistani mujahid.

1. No money or job to feed himself - Check

2. Hiding in a cave with windows darkened - Check

3. Stealing stuff - Check

4. Causing random destruction of property and scaring people from inside a cave with stolen stuff - Check

5. Downhill skiing rapidly when confronted and appealing to Unkil for help - Check

He ij a true bakistani taalipaan mujihid, but we should wait before giving him an award. Aphter he ij arrested and jailed, if he shows proof of GUPO, he should be awarded Hilal-e-Bakistan immediately !

Mahendra · Post by **Mahendra** » 06 Aug 2009 03:35

Preakthru in enzyme rekhoj, Cousin marrying enzymes indentified at Krachi univarjity, saves Bakistan ( yand yamreeka 10 milliyan dollahs)

‘Though a new subject in Pakistan, industrial biotechnology has assumed a lot of significance in recent years, with the production of different enzymes that have a wide range of applications, a certain enzyme Goatbuggerin created at Djinnah institoot of impotence and congenital priapism has been proven to increase libido in mountain goats, wild camels and illegitimate langurs.

Anujan · Post by **Anujan** » 06 Aug 2009 03:53

NA bill outlaws domestic violence

In a revolutionary develobment, members of bakistani NA todin passed motion in the parl-e-ment. The motion panned all domestic violenje. Wimmens will no longer suffer in Bakistan. This new law was hailed by analysts and bakistani citijens are a huge progress towards ending wimmens suffrage in bakistan.

According to the bill, domestic violence includes — but is not limited to — ‘all intentional acts of gender-based or other physical or psychological abuse committed by an accused against women, children or other vulnerable persons, with whom the accused person is or has been in a domestic relationship’. Brime minister Gilani who said "Bliss to note, all apuse where the accused is not is a domestic relationship is not covered by the law" and said "youtupe videos cannot be ujed as evidenje". He aljo added "Squeezing ij not apuse"

Brime minister Gilani said that any wimmens who have peen abujed need only pring 4 witnesses to the court to give testimony against the man. To prevent misuje of this law, a provision has peen made whereby any wimmens who do false allegation can be stoned; except in cases where blasphemy can be proved, in which case the wimmens will be burned. To further prevent misuje, this law will not be applicable in FATA, NWFP, Azad Cashmere, Blochistan, armed phorjes in blochistan, doctor wimmens who work in blochistan, Parts of Krachi, Mohallas with Pashtun majority, Injide the farms owned by feudals, to Mullahs, Munir Akram, during brotests or taalipaan jirga handing out stribes in Swat. To brotect bakistani culture and traditional vocations, beepuls in punjab, karo kari, nanha peachy bottomed mujahids in madrassas and animal huspandry will be exempt. On being asked about the law, interior minister Rehman malik said "Animal huspandry is not covered becauje Kushpoo ij not considered to be a vulnerable berson, becauje kushpoo ij not a berson". Analysts say that thij law will strengthen the hand of gilani, becauje ten perjenti's appeal to add an exception to Sarah Palin was rebuffed.

In a reaction to this law, the bakistani association phor bractising hanaar and domejtic apuse of wimmens---which claims 400% membership of Bakistani men--quickly changed its name to Tehreek-e-beatings-e-motorma-al-kanadian-vija. The supreme court declared Tehreek-e-beatings-e-motorma-al-kanadian-vija to pe legal as only the bakistani association phor bractising hanaar and domejtic apuse of wimmens was panned. Munir Akram filed a amicus-curae briefing that diplomats, diplomatic and consulatory purposes like ijjuing travel papers and vijas were exempt from this law. Commenting on thij develobment, Madam Mazari said "Thij ij a YYY kanspeeracy to destroy our bakistani values and introduce alien concepts to us like bollywood music, civility and respect for wimmens". Ejaz Haider added "Thij is a landmark event in Bakistani polity, comprable to the rejent development of Swat Bolis wearing pants. With bolis wearing pants and abuje of wimmens law, India bakistan now equal equal". He aljo added "To the regular readers of this column: Mijjile, poo, Mijjile, Mijjile, poo joke he he".

Dilbu · Post by **Dilbu** » 06 Aug 2009 12:02

^^^^

Mahendra · Post by **Mahendra** » 07 Aug 2009 01:17

Ulta lawyer kothwaal ko daante

As the ASI tried to nab the accused, the lawyers started beating him.

Police sources say many investigation officers have started avoiding appearing in the higher as well as lower courts to avoid confrontation with lawyers as the latter have developed a habit of misbehaving with the IOs after failing to win their cases or just to ‘satisfy’ their clients.

Mahendra · Post by **Mahendra** » 07 Aug 2009 01:21

Talipan providing vocational educashun to bakistani bacchalog

Hiten · Post by **Hiten** » 07 Aug 2009 02:02

Rishi wrote: http://twitter.com/lalbrofessor (starting out)

baaa!!

the besst that I'm following

Rishi wrote:

Seems like LMU grads are already on Twitter:

http://twitter.com/napaki (been there for some time! brilliant psyops)

old follower of yours

)

his recently started pingrezi [that he/she deletes immediately after recieving the reply] earning lots of abuses and Re-tweets

lawhoris giving him advice even after he posts this

KrishG · Post by **KrishG** » 07 Aug 2009 02:22

The Mujahids of a BENIS r unhabby becos Kuffar Unkil beoble stebbing into the land to pure-bred!

http://www.mid-day.com/news/2009/aug/06 ... mbassy.htm

K Mehta · Post by **K Mehta** » 07 Aug 2009 02:23

Diyar laalprafessar, bhyphor ju not put http://www.bositiveneuj.blogspot.com on jour teetar brofile?

Lalmohan · Post by **Lalmohan** » 07 Aug 2009 02:36

i am suar my peepal will take cayar aaf it. i am too busy with phoonk sundari in new sino-pak friendship ekkjperiments in red banner lab collective #420

Prem · Post by **Prem** » 07 Aug 2009 03:29

Hiten wrote:
Rishi wrote: http://twitter.com/lalbrofessor (starting out)

Paki ke do agge Paki, Paki ke do peeche Paki
Bolo Kitne Paki ?

rsharma · Post by **rsharma** » 07 Aug 2009 10:59

Prem wrote:
Paki ke do agge Paki, Paki ke do peeche Paki
Bolo Kitne Paki ?

err what are the obtions?

Anujan · Post by **Anujan** » 07 Aug 2009 12:10

Prem wrote: Paki ke do agge Paki, Paki ke do peeche Paki
Bolo Kitne Paki ?

Who did that plasphemy

Paki ke age kushpoo, paki ke peeche amritraj

Now memorize it

derkonig · Post by **derkonig** » 07 Aug 2009 12:11

1. put obtion
2. call obtion

AoA..

Rishi · Post by **Rishi** » 07 Aug 2009 13:12

Come all ye phaitfool?

lalbrofessor AoA my #Pakistani biraders.. @inekuddin @nayakuddin @apdul Have joined thij LMU birtual kampus. Oho, now @kushpoo will be bijee again

@marvi_memon A thousand salaams phrom LMU mohterma! I am a great fan of your work. Plij grace us with your words. #Pakistan paindabutt!

niran · Post by **niran** » 07 Aug 2009 13:58

Rishi wrote:Come all ye phaitfool?

Mulla Rishi-bin-Kapoor teetar is akain under YYY attack.
maype eet eej wiser to dig deeper for another kave komplex.

derkonig · Post by **derkonig** » 07 Aug 2009 15:49

AoA aaditaar,
bhat ij thij, hain?

Lalmohan · Post by **Lalmohan** » 07 Aug 2009 16:02

thats a satirical takeoff on "Dr Strangelove", if you get a chance, see the film. It'll freak you out

derkonig · Post by **derkonig** » 07 Aug 2009 18:19

AoA lalpraf,
i hape seen the haraam bicchar, but, bhat i ask ij iph amritraj cud cause so much GUBO da dard, bhat will sri sri hussain obama's *sharam sharam* do to bakstan, hain? will bakstan hape to aktivate the doomsday machine, hain?

Rishi · Post by **Rishi** » 07 Aug 2009 19:36

derkonig wrote:AoA lalpraf,
i hape seen the haraam bicchar, but, bhat i ask ij iph amritraj cud cause so much GUBO da dard, bhat will sri sri hussain obama's *sharam sharam* do to bakstan, hain? will bakstan hape to aktivate the doomsday machine, hain?

Thij ij eajy. bakistan's

is deeper than ocean only. No challanj is too big phor the race that invented GUBO.

Arunkumar · Post by **Arunkumar** » 07 Aug 2009 20:44

kushpooo's end users agreement

rajsunder · Post by **rajsunder** » 07 Aug 2009 20:57

derkonig wrote:AoA aaditaar,
bhat ij thij, hain?

just love this movie, anyways the best scene from the movie Dr.Strangelove

BajKhedawal · Post by **BajKhedawal** » 07 Aug 2009 21:39

derkonig wrote:AoA lalpraf,
i hape seen the haraam bicchar, but, bhat i ask ij iph amritraj cud cause so much GUBO da dard, bhat will sri sri hussain obama's *sharam sharam* do to bakstan, hain? will bakstan hape to aktivate the doomsday machine, hain?

Butt..butt, Mulla Derko the chabi to aktivate the bakistani doomsdin mizzile is in Sri Sri Barakstein Hussain's hath no?

Kakkaji · Post by **Kakkaji** » 07 Aug 2009 23:02

Phraam thij bheek's Jumma Times:

Diary of a Social Butterfly

I’m writing this in PIA flight from London to Lahore. Business class, of course. And honestly, respite of smell of tarka that all PIA plains have, home sweet home, baba. Can’t wait to get home, yaar. I’ve spent a hole month in London shopping and meeting sheeting all my nice nice rich rich friends from home. (Who wants to meet bore goras with their long marsiyas about credit crunch except crack Janoo who hooks up with all his old Oxen freinds?) London shops, especially Harrods and Shelfridges tau are zabardast and also after Lahore ki heat, London ka weather is so totally nice with its little, little small, small rain and its cool, cool breeze and also Royal China and Zoo Ma and Chip Riyani are to dye for and Daniel Galving jaisa tau hair dresser who does Madonna, Kylie and me, is tabahi and Nell Gwin house in Chell Sea with its maid three times a week is my second home but only second, na.

My real home tau is Lahore where I never have to make a bed or boil a cattle to make tea or pull my own curtains or top up my own phone or fetch a glass of water or put milk in Kulchoo’s serial. Can’t wait to get home and be greeted at the airport with the admi who comes to meet us at the airport and collect our luggage and do all the bore paper work while we just sail home in our own car and walk into my lovely shiny kothi with the ACs already on and be met by my shweet shi maid who does all the unpacking and who I don’t have to thank ten ten times like all those sarrhial Flipinas in London who have so many ears and graces keh taubah! Now I’m going to sleep under my pashmina so please excuse na. See you in Lahore. Byeee!

Uff taubah, that stupid admi who’s supposed to whisk us out of passport control vaghera isn’t here and we’re having to cue just like the cattle class types. So humiliating. I just told Janoo to fire him next time he sees him and Janoo said he’s not our naukar. He works for govmunt. Well, tomorrow I’m going to call guvnur himself and tell him to fire him and after that I’m going to fire Janoo. And now we’re having to wait in the luggage hall with the porter to collect our luggage while all our friends from biz class sailed out ages ago leaving their admis to do all that. Honestly! Talk about bezti. And all these Pakis push and shove so much with their bloody trolleys unlike the goras who quietly get into cue and wait. Got home two hours later and guess what? Maid is ill! Sent message that her son’s got malaria. Jhooti jaisi! Wait till she comes back. I’ll fire her on the spot. And generator is not working and phone is not working and our bathroom flooded in the rains and it’s still so bloody hot and damn fool cook thought we were coming tomorrow so hasn’t made lunch and to top it all there’s a chip killi in my room. I hate my house. I hate my servants. I hate the guvmunt. I hate Lahore. Hai London …

shaardula · Post by **shaardula** » 08 Aug 2009 04:48

Lauka wrote:Wow!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4C2TSUsoD4

deer raakit mards* and honoraple learned men of the LMU, i have a question.
in this bideo (haraam haraam) the learned mullah says the holi pook says whatever you do, do with full commitment.

as a consequence of living in dar-ul-haraam, i have heard many kuffar dajjals also say the same thing. but they use stupid examples like if you are watering a plant, if you are brushing your teeth, if your are combing your hair, etc etc. so my jasba was not aroused.

but this learned mullah has aroused my junoon and jasba by saying, if you are going to kill, kill with full conviction. then he says if you are going to slaughter, slaughter with full conviction. that is the will of the bious pook. such bious wise examples really put the j in jasba.

my question, what is the difference between kill and slaughter. kill kaffir, slaughter bakri?

aoa.
shaardullah al maesoor
dera banglor, keral

*easily one of the best coinages of LMU. who ever did it is a genius. raakit mard. raakit munna.

Prem · Post by **Prem** » 08 Aug 2009 06:58

Dhiz crazy mullah is abostate . Allah haz raized Mulims best among da mankind and he dont "BELIEVE". I say beahead diz beehead phor he has doubted the worldz oph Allah transhmeeted by da Prophet.

Anujan · Post by **Anujan** » 08 Aug 2009 07:16

Our brejident's messaje about the glorious future of bakistan

Mahendra · Post by **Mahendra** » 08 Aug 2009 13:27

[youtube]Z8fbPhBWdeE&feature=related[/youtube]

Rahul M · Post by **Rahul M** » 08 Aug 2009 13:49

Atri · Post by **Atri** » 08 Aug 2009 15:00

rsharma · Post by **rsharma** » 08 Aug 2009 15:30

archan · Post by **archan** » 08 Aug 2009 19:31

errr mujahids, bliss to control your habbiness. Do not live in your in-laws house as it ij against bashtoon traditions. The apove two mullahs are laughing in their in-laws house, and a bredator strike can habben on their bosts.