Bakistan: Emirate of New-clear Inquilabi States-Bojitiv Newj

Prem · Post by **Prem** » 09 Oct 2009 09:26

Baki Bums Wurk, jusht dhat joo has nat been to Phriday gathering and missing da kustomary Prey- arrz, uddher-wize joo wont be ashking da kweshen
Boom Brabar Boom Baki, Boom Brabar Boom
Mooooosharraf me chuppa le, Cell Number mila le
Kushpoo ko buss galle lagga ke , Butt urra ke
Boom Boom Boom Boom Braber ....
.

Anujan · Post by **Anujan** » 09 Oct 2009 12:07

Racist kuffar westerners, discriminating against bakistanis

AjayKK · Post by **AjayKK** » 09 Oct 2009 16:26

Bakistan lends Opama Piss Prize.
Blij to applaud.

Also blij to quote tasveer neeche.
Is Dajpercenti socching " Agli baari, pakka Zardari" ?

Rishi · Post by **Rishi** » 09 Oct 2009 18:13

BENIS mullahs... you are directed to go to here:
http://forums.bharat-rakshak.com/viewto ... 34#p752634

Some things are such ki parde mein rehne do.

Lurker mullahs, please to login 2 view

GuruPrabhu · Post by **GuruPrabhu** » 09 Oct 2009 20:46

My goats are getting restless..

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/8290606.stm

Egypt's highest Muslim authority has said he will issue a religious edict against the growing trend for full women's veils, known as the niqab.

Sheikh Mohamed Tantawi, dean of al-Azhar university, called full-face veiling a custom that has nothing to do with the Islamic faith.

Vikas · Post by **Vikas** » 09 Oct 2009 21:10

narayanan wrote:AllahoAkbar!
Whyphor theyar eej no dhaga inside PeeAref to declare that Bakistani nyook bums are aljo nat working?
We need such a dishumdishum, IMO.

Aar ju so joo that ju bant dangal and kushti among the learned Mau-lana. Habe ju naat seen hao kaffir jirga fart over some no-clear exjam and they still naat knowing if they tested aar naat tested.

Anujan · Post by **Anujan** » 09 Oct 2009 23:09

Great neuj for bakistani scienje and animal huspandry !

Much advanje has been made in scienje and takniki in bakistan. Bakistani hara paint takini, successfully used to pindigenize cheeni maal has been imbroved to black and white paint takniki. Egsperts say it ij applicable to biol-e-gy, especially phor converting gadhi to other speejies of animals.

Vikas · Post by **Vikas** » 09 Oct 2009 23:15

But plack ij the kolor aaf SDRE. Can any Baki be plack espcially ben baki are desendante aaf sooh many fair nashuns..I poocho you ?

Gagan · Post by **Gagan** » 10 Oct 2009 00:06

Ju phools and non peelivers!
Hap ju phorgotton that all bakisthanis will junite under the plack phlag oph mehdi for gajba-e-hind? The mehdi will lead the peelivers lyke in bicchar:

The plack phlag oph mehdi ij half way there.

We need more jeehard to make it phully plack.
Salam

Prem · Post by **Prem** » 10 Oct 2009 00:21

VikasRaina wrote:But plack ij the kolor aaf SDRE. Can any Baki be plack espcially ben baki are desendante aaf sooh many fair nashuns..I poocho you ?

In the name of G..d Ayatollah,
Phrom hencephorth All Bakwasistani shall be bortrayed az Blue iyed,Peachy Battam ,Blonnde hair TFTA to abbrobiate SDRE diphrentiazion. All the bictures abuv and peelow broove dhat Bakistanis are the deschendant oph Skandinabian
http://www.scandinaviangifts.com/Trolls.cfm

hnair · Post by **hnair** » 10 Oct 2009 02:33

Despite Prime Minister Gillani's objections, famous Scotland Yard Inspector to assist Pakistan in identifying RAW Agents

hnair · Post by **hnair** » 10 Oct 2009 02:41

Scotland Yard Inspector sent back after evidence surfaced about alleged links with RAW agents

Anujan · Post by **Anujan** » 10 Oct 2009 07:51

Bojitive neuj !

Tallel than mountain fliends to restore bakistani sovirginity ! (phor $30)

A new device made by a Chinese company will restore bakistani sovirginity. The “Artificial Sovirginity Kit” distributed by Gigimo costs about USD30 and is intended to help newly GUPOed bakistan fool the world into believing that they have sovirginity. But controversy began when a reporter from a Dutch radio station broadcast an Arabic translation of the Chinese advertisement for the product. The controversy over virginity and the newly-provided ability to fake it, hits at the center of questions regarding the status of GUPO and baksheesh in much of bakistan.

JwalaMukhi · Post by **JwalaMukhi** » 10 Oct 2009 07:57

Indeed, it brings to focus the vast disparity between nations like China, who have put their women to work and hence harnessed 51% of an unused labor force to become a manufacturing super power and countries like Pakistan and Egypt who are still squabbling over inanities that necessitate a device like the Artificial Hymen Kit.

Phrom the above bost why ij 51 percenti quoted? Leeducation camp needed phor anyone suggesting anything less then 400%. Phor taller than mountin and deepel then osen phriends, it should be 800 % onlee.

Anujan · Post by **Anujan** » 10 Oct 2009 08:46

JwalaMukhi wrote:Phrom the above bost why ij 51 percenti quoted? Leeducation camp needed phor anyone suggesting anything less then 400%. Phor taller than mountin and deepel then osen phriends, it should be 800 % onlee.

Diyar J-wallah-mullah
The 51% is entirely the bopulation of wiggle which ij only 6% of cheeni bopulation, making the wiggle wimmens 800% embloyed. And those thankless beepuls are brotesting.

While I was soching about this new sovirginity takniki which embloys 51% of cheeni wimmens, I have a new idea !

We should pindigenize thij takniki by replacing the lal baint with hara baint and hence imbrove the economy of bakistan.

JwalaMukhi · Post by **JwalaMukhi** » 10 Oct 2009 14:27

Anujan wrote: pindigenize thij takniki by replacing the lal baint with hara baint and hence imbrove the economy of bakistan.

Mullah AnoojHan shikri, your associashun bith LMU haj giben such a great and marbleouj idyea. The kuphhar SDREs may klaaim that they discober zero, bhen actually isteeling phrom the Araps, they neber understand (always upperstand onlee, theje doti wallhs)unlike proud Bakis, put they are neveer 400% pure and ishtrang in alzebra.
Your change of color phrom lal to Hara haj deep signiphicance, aj Baki Panting tekniks are never surphassed. It reminjs me oph a pooyettree that all mullajs used sing in LMU camplex. Plij to ponder over this bariation: Ye wakath ki thakaja hai.

Panting, shweating, GUBOing and DSkiing are the trademarks oph Baki,
The ASK (Kit Sovirgnity Artiphicial) help
in reducing the sovirgnity gap
shending the baki in a tap tap tap

Eben though nothing like armitrage,
Baki AllWays (anyways) understand (neber Upperstand)
the taller and deepel phriend,
the yearnings phor the lal kit and herpes (ophium onlee).
Put a Haraa kit bill pring back the shweet memories of ophium days
to led liphs massaje parloour for the Taller and deepel phriend
The amrikhan can never wonder have enuf oph herpes.
Bith such phriends as amrikan and taller, Baki ekonomy is alwayks strang.
Such ij the pawar of Hara ASK kit.

Can the majik djinn of Haraa kit pe but in wards?
onlee see the phace of Mushy bhen he understand Armitrage,
the panting, the GUBoing,browning ju name it: baki got it.

ju ignarant pooch Got Milk?
Mullah bola: Baki wimmen may have dhoodh, but ju bill neber
phind a baki wimmen without ASK (Artiphichial Sovirginity Kit)!
Not eben the 72 sunmaid raisins in janaat, bithout the Haraa kit!

rsingh · Post by **rsingh** » 10 Oct 2009 18:21

La haulvillaquvat
Aaj subah bhen eye was tending to my mango stall in front of GHQ Eye listen firing end dhamaka. Eye hab to move my stall to another place.............near rear admiral's house. This is even better.................lot of mohtramas buying mangos. ooooops my Itouch is nat working ...............it seems the hab blocked wifi. more soon

niran · Post by **niran** » 10 Oct 2009 18:47

Diyar Aditoor Janab,
AoA

Eye want to be istanding erect yand lodge istrongest oph da istrongest
brotest yat Parack opama getting Nabell Peerize.

Prajident Zardari eej more dejerving by 10% eye say.
His Highness has sakrificed his Wipe da most sought aphter BB^2
so that he kan be da Prejident oph Bakistan, dhen to fait phor
Duyina piss vanquishing foes aphter foes oph Duyina Piss.
Yand wat did Opama do? onlee GUPO oph Bakistan!! hain!.

Eye demand a Jirga be konvened yand da needphull be done.

Salam.

Arunkumar · Post by **Arunkumar** » 10 Oct 2009 19:29

i sekond that sujjeshun py pertab-ullah

Aphter gilani publicly took matters into his hands in sherry rally, zardari has been left with no obtions. so i recommund nobaall prije to jardari.

Anujan · Post by **Anujan** » 10 Oct 2009 22:46

Miscreant-taalipaan attack GHQ, I repeat, miscreant taalipaan attack GHQ. They are NOT non-state acting taalipaan, so pleaje do not opher them moral, diblomatic and bolitical support.

The bakistani army urgently calls upon all batriotic apduls to contribute.

1. Bleaje donate your wipe's (all 4 of them) burqhas. Several Jernails need them urgently.

2. If there ij any barber, please come out oph hiding. We wont ijjue a fatwa on you. Your servijes are needed to gather intelligence by debriefing the dead taalipaan to determine if they are yindoos.

3. A hakeem's servijes are urgently needed. Preferably urologist with plastic surgery experience. You might need to work very fast if the barber determines that they are not yindoos.

4. Skilled negotitators are needed to negotiate a biss treaty.

5. Economists are needed to sell thij injident to the west to get more AIDS

Prem · Post by **Prem** » 10 Oct 2009 23:26

Arunkumar wrote:i sekond that sujjeshun py pertab-ullah

Aphter gilani publicly took matters into his hands in sherry rally, zardari has been left with no obtions. so i recommund nobaall prije to jardari.

Bell bell bell, No- Ball prize iz rezerved phor Barny onlee all da way Phrom AAyoob to Moosharraph.

Gagan · Post by **Gagan** » 11 Oct 2009 00:08

Dear Biradhers,
BURUR.
It haj peen brought to my notice that the entire GHQ complex ij in urgent need op the phollowing:
1. Dhobi specialijing in cleaning brown pants. In view oph massive enmass browning of the pants ceremony in GHQ Pindi by pak faujis including jernails and kernails.
2. Fire truck to wash away the aftereffects of the said pak fauj ceremony to wash off the brown color from the offices and roads of the GHQ complex.
3. Proctologist who ij expert in sphincter repair. To help in improving soverginity oph bak fauj jernails and kernails, because the attack resulted in effects similar to too much pack channel diplomacy.

Payment will pe commensurate to the pest in the pusiness.

Salam.

Anujan · Post by **Anujan** » 11 Oct 2009 00:23

Attack on Pak-Army GHQ: A Case of Mistaken Identitiy ?

NSN Reports: Today the pakistani army GHQ came under massive attack from miscreants. Reliable reports indicate that a battered toyota pickup, of the type used by the Pak army, approached the GHQ checkpoint. The pickup had 6 bearded men, firing the AKs into the air shouting "Jeeeehaaaarrrd". Fooled by their appearance and assuming that they were Pak army regulars under deputation, they were let through. The army got an inkling of their deadly agenda only at the second checkpoint. When the bearded men did not surrender, but fired back when challenged. The guards manning the gates immediately realized that they were not typical Pak army regulars. Since the guards were outnumbered 30 to 6, they abandoned their posts and let the miscreants through. The news broke in Rawalpindi at a press conference called by interior minister Rehman Malik, who amidst the sound of gunfire and bomb explosions revealed details of the attack and claimed that the situation had ended.

However, the attack was still progressing. An early respite came to the Pakistani army when two of the miscreants, mistaking their own bearded collegues crying out "Jeeehaaard" to be top generals of the army, shot at four of their colleagues killing them. They then proceeded to take over 50 hostages. The army top brass is intensely worried about the situation, since the 50 hostages were armed to the teeth and these arms might now be used by the two miscreant hostage takers.

NSN reporters are on the scene, posting updates as the situation develops.

archan · Post by **archan** » 11 Oct 2009 01:31

rsingh wrote:La haulvillaquvat
Aaj subah bhen eye was tending to my mango stall in front of GHQ Eye listen firing end dhamaka. Eye hab to move my stall to another place.............near rear admiral's house. This is even better.................lot of mohtramas buying mangos. ooooops my Itouch is nat working ...............it seems the hab blocked wifi. more soon

Diyar rsinghullah pindi wale,
I am habby to hiyar that you and your jewels are safe and sound and you have not met your 72 (yet). Bliss to sell more mango krates (I know yu sold one many moons ago to a Jarnail whose naam started with a Z). I have an adbhise, do not touch any container that sayj POKII or new-clear, or feed-e-pack-e-phorum or such. Many faithfools have peen shaheedized py friendly phyrr after peing lured into the apyss. Bliss to take care you your mangoes and goats.
Bhyphor yu say yu cannot use your I-touch, hain? who cannot you touch? is khuspoo naraz and not letting you uje your I-touch? that ij bhery misphortunate onlee. I say touch anything excebt the container I menshuned earlier.

salam,
yours I-touchingly
Baqr

archan · Post by **archan** » 11 Oct 2009 01:42

Prave bakistani faujis making a swift exit after peing outnumpered 30-6 in the GHQ.

Aftab to Ismail: yu istand hiyar, and I hide theyar. OK?

Bhaijan, yu bave the bandook, bhyphor your pant is soiled?

Gagan · Post by **Gagan** » 11 Oct 2009 01:46

Dear Biradherj
Eye hap slight confusion here.
Aphter the attack on GHQ pindi there were corpses lying all around, and so everyone decided to do an under lungi egjamination to determine the identy oph the attackers. I yam submitting my report hear:

1. None oph the corpses had shaurya mijjiles
2. The attackers had D-5 ICBMs instead oph ghori mijjiles.
3. When bak fauji jernails and kernails waj checked, it was found that there ij only empty silo waj prejent and grenades are mijjing.

Immideately a jirga haj peen called phor to decide bhaat ij going on

Jours conphoosed-ly
Gagan-ulla

Prem · Post by **Prem** » 11 Oct 2009 02:06

[quote="archan
[img]http://www.app.com.pk/photo/photo_lib/1 ... 90d906ca[b]
Bhaijan, yu bave the bandook, bhyphor your pant is soiled?[/b][/quote]

One kommon link amung dhem iz dhey aere all BC or Aulad-e BC.
kurrent assheshment
Mishcreants ..Jeehard
Baki Fauj......Pee hard
Unkil Fauj.....No hard
Desi Leeder..Bee..Hard

Mahendra · Post by **Mahendra** » 11 Oct 2009 03:08

Bakistani elite commodes looking for joos hiding under rocks at GHQ

Bakistani CSI ( Cirkum-sized Skin Investigators) looking for 4skin at site of Beshawar IED mubarak
Looks like Inv-e-stigator Sher -e-lock Halalmuz has found some vital clues

Anujan · Post by **Anujan** » 11 Oct 2009 06:09

I suno that there are 2 taalipaan who took hostages in a office building. I aljo suno that one of the two taalipaan is a good taalipaan and the other mujahid is a bad taalipaan.

Should we talk to the good taalipaan, give him the beepul and the building and fight the other bad taalipaan ?

What do the mullahs think of this brilliant strat-e-gy ? Can somebody give me kushpoos and lotas as prije now ?

niran · Post by **niran** » 11 Oct 2009 10:47

NSN (Pindi Bojitibe Khabar Desk) A massive simulation yat Pindi Fauji Goosalkhana
came to a 400% suksesphul end yesterdin Jarnail Nonaam Ali in a press konference deklared.
In da simulation it was simulated dat Pindi Fauji Goosalkhana is penetrated py
phew RAA agint. All was done to gauge da sekuraity apparatus erectness.
Da Jarnail janab further retraited to make it near reality phew retired old faujese
were dispatched to Jahanum. Da Fauji Brass are very satisfied with the showing.
" this show Bakistan eej ready to provide mooh tod jawab to any adventures."
another Jarnail boisterously announced.
Da falj reporting by infedal yand Yindu press kaujed a lot of mirth among the defence
bersonal.

NSN

Advertijment:

Duyina pest IED 25 Hrs sold.
orders yand home delivary by phone aljo.
Ophice right behind Rsinghgulla I-touch dukan
yand right oph his Mango krates kounter.
Pliss to dialing 1@#$6754898#@.

Anujan · Post by **Anujan** » 11 Oct 2009 10:54

GHQ attack to have wide ramifications

From the desk of NSN Analyeast: Todin's GHQ attack will have wide ramifications in the coming week. It may be recalled that among the six gunmen, 4 were killed in the checkpoint, 3 escaped, two were arrested by the bolis and five took 15 hostages. Out of the 15 hostages, an oberation by the SSG freed 25 with 3 of them shaheed.

The first impact of this incident will be on Yindo-Baki relationship. Interir minister Rehman Malik said "The involvement of foreign hands cannot be ruled out. Bakistan has prepared a dassier to hand over to Yindians". Unnamed guvrmand sources revealed that the evidenje includes the fact that no Yindoo and Yehudi embloyees were in the GHQ on the day of attack. Furthermore since ijlaaam is religion of biss and since it was conclujively estabilished that it was not a bissfool incident, the attackers should have been yindu and yehudi.

The second impact will be on the power balance in the country. The GHQ attack cemented the bakistani army as the leading institution of bakistan. Common abduls on the street said "Whenever Bakistani army attacks the parliament, the civilians flee and give up power and coup happens. Now when mujahids attacked GHQ, the prave bakistani army stood firm and it took only 24 hours for bakistani army to throw them out. The country will be better ruled by the army".

A Marshall law may be imbosed becauj of the new popularity of the army.

Lalmohan · Post by **Lalmohan** » 11 Oct 2009 17:49

Breaking News: Pakistan to brake off talks with India over Rawalpindi Attock
NSN: sources confirm that Pakistani ministers at the highest level have decided that there cannot be any further peace talks with India under the current climate of terror and the latest incident of terror attacks in Rawalpindi. Dossiers are on their way, together with video and other evidence to Indian counterparts.
More news as it is made up, on the hour, every hour. This is NSN!

Mahendra · Post by **Mahendra** » 11 Oct 2009 19:37

Already Broken News

Abhinav Bharath behind attack on GHQ, Karsevak and ring leader -Akhil Kumar arrested

The military released photographs of the four karsevaks killed Saturday, all young men with shreds of saffron uniforms visible on the corpses, while a bargaidyar and a leftanant-karnail were among the army dead.

He said that two soldiers and four of the hindus were killed in the hours-long rescue operation. One hindu escaped and chanted a number of mantras before being injured and arrested, he was then taken to the dakktar khana for emergency plastic surgery.

After a hour long surgery doctors were able to re-attach ISI mark evidence before the news of Akhil Kumar alias Dr Usman's arrest was made public. He has also reportedly confessed to a number of high profile attacks including impersonating Hafeez Sayeed and Ajmal Kasab

Following this development Pakistan has demanded that India be declared as a terrorist state, a demand supported by Arundathi Roy and Kuldip Nayar

JwalaMukhi · Post by **JwalaMukhi** » 11 Oct 2009 19:42

Phurther newjs...
The arrested alleged terririst Akhil Kumir haj been demanding phollowing menu phrom hij jail cell. Baki authorities have released the demand list.'
1)Puliyogere,
2) OOthapam
3) Curd rice
4)Kosumbari
More to phollow...

Dilbu · Post by **Dilbu** » 11 Oct 2009 19:56

Bhere ij the conclusive evidence? Is there a Shourya mijjile in Akhil Kumar's saffron chaddi? A dossier in impekkable pinglish needs to be submitted to yindians as soon as possible to do equal equal.

Mahendra · Post by **Mahendra** » 11 Oct 2009 20:07

Akhil Kumar not Indian : Shashi Tharoor

Refuting Bakistan's claim that Indians were involved in the attack on GHQ, Shashi Tharoor, mos for external and extra marital affairs cat-e-gorically refuted the claim that Akhil Kumar was an Indian citizen. There is no body with that name in the muncipal records of HD Devegowda Nagar, Bangalore, Kerala his statement read.

Earlier, NDTV had released transcripts of an interview with Akhil Kumar's father Srinivasa Myensinkai a vegetable vendor who confessed to have sold his son to the Hindu extremist Sangh Parivar, upon further questioning he turned abusive and started mouthing words like " nimma appan ****".
Readers are reminded that it is common practice in the villages in India for families to sell their sons to the Sangh Parivar whose main aim is the destruction of Islam.
Meanwhile Akhil Kumar alias Dr Usman's wakil Gunga Din has alleged third degree torture and stated that his client was innojant.
The case has taken an interesting and international turn after Akhil's confession in which he also owned up to being a part of the team that attacked the Lankan Cricketers in Lahore. On being asked for Lankan opinion, the Sri Lankan High commisioner to Bakistan chuckled and said that the only way the Lankans could assist the probe would be to provide methuvadai and Sambar so that the flow of information from Akhil Kumar would not be interuppted by the lack of vegetarian food

more later

JwalaMukhi · Post by **JwalaMukhi** » 11 Oct 2009 20:09

A pure Xeroj capy aj ujed by Dr.xerox khan of the dossyier ij aljo being planned to send to Amrikhans. Meanwhile, Amrikhan shenators Mr. Hiniz Cherry and Mr.Twiddle Dee habe introducted a pill to sanction 1.5 pillion dollars per year over the next decade to Yindian goverment to adequately buy "lathis" to kombat the kar-sevaks.

Meanwhile Amrikhan leaders aljos want to know iph Akhil kumar alias Dr. Usman pelong to 'good karsevak' or 'bad karsevak'.
Bakis have expressed concern over the strutegic impalance kreated by the sale of 'lathis' and arm race in the shub kontinent due to the sale of lathis to Yindian goverment.

Dilbu · Post by **Dilbu** » 11 Oct 2009 20:19

Is Akhil kumar a minor?
Based on the statements of the captured yindoo right wing fascist Akhil Kumar who attacked pindi GHQ, it is rumoured that he is a minor. He disclosed his past life as that of a 5th standard passout from kendriya vidyalaya in Bangalore, Kerala who loved his khara bath before being sold to sangh Parivar. He later came under the influence of one Col. Pure-Rohit and is suspected to be involved in samjhauta express attack. Akhil Kumar who is apparently illiterate has asked Baki investigators to speak in Sanskrit as he did not understand any other language.

One of the items recovered from Akhil Kumar's Jai Hanuman brand back pack is considered a vital piece of evidence establishing foreign hand:

Lalmohan · Post by **Lalmohan** » 11 Oct 2009 21:52

NSN: Foreign Hands often in Orange briefs
Kottubamian, Himachal Pardes: Commentators here commented increasingly, the evidence of a foreign hand can be seen in the Orange briefs, said to be the favourites of certain Sangh Parivar Extremists. Sang Parivars contacted by NSN merely replied with broad smiles and sighs.
NSN is on the scene and investigating.

Gagan · Post by **Gagan** » 11 Oct 2009 21:56

Bismilla Biradher pleej to naat spread roo-murj.
How did a Phoreign hand get into koopher yindoo's chaddi?

Unless I yam mis-taken, one's own hand goes into ones own chaddi amongst the koophers. Phoreign hand going into ones chaddi in common only amongst the peelivers.