Bakistan: Emirate of New-clear Inquilabi States-Bojitiv Newj

Gagan · Post by **Gagan** » 11 Oct 2009 22:06

The investi-gators have aljo phound out that the koopher waj wearing a saffron pand on hij lept hand. Thij saffron pand ij a sign oph 400% yindoo koopher. Which they uje to convert peelivers into their pelief system. Arleady ill effects oph thij ij seen in bure bakistani soosai-ty.

Joint investi-gators (Err, heh heh

) of Eye Ass Eye and Phyrr Hojing department hap uncovered the phact that the main motive oph theje attackers waj to take entire GHQ pindi hostage and convert them all to hinduism. Thereby they wanted to ensure that bakistan's subbort phor honest caujes was undermined to highest digree.

Actually thij haj peen a long lasting aim oph the yindoo phunda-mantalists to take control oph the land oph the bure.

The yindoos terrerisits were asking phor vegetarian phood when negotiations were going on between SSG and hostage takers. Aljo yindoo terrists were asking phor adult sije diapers phor the pak phauji hostages aj a precondition to begin talks. Immediately Jernal Kiya-nahi and Jernail Pasha, in a selfless display oph piety and biradherhood, released their own personal adult sije diapers phrom their own homes phor the hostages. Thij move py the Jernails waj widely applauded py the common soldiers in the cordon, who themselves were running short of the diapers due to overuse.

We will release more inphormation apout the negotiations petween Eye Ass Eye and yindoo terrerists aj more details come in.

Plij Don't go away.

Mahendra · Post by **Mahendra** » 12 Oct 2009 02:15

Kar Sevak terrist Akhil Kumar

JwalaMukhi · Post by **JwalaMukhi** » 12 Oct 2009 04:48

There is grave infarmation koming about thij alleged pistol man Akhil Kumar. Prior to the attack it ij learnt Akhil kumar had vijited a high class hotel and tried to order idly sambar. When the server indicated that ony chiken biryani and lamb curry are available, he non-chalantily odered phor bye two kaapi. The high klass hotel are phrequently vijited by the high klass Baki kallege going phemales.
Many of the phemales were swooned by this Dr.Usman aka Akhil Kumar, and thought he was just another kollege going young kid. One of the phemales haj supposedly remarked that Akhil kumar be relased unharmed and the young mard be giben a chance to change hij views of the world.
Many of the phemales are of the opinion “only Bakislam respects wimmen, there is no disrespect by thij or to thij religon” However, qwietly these phemales were also to add quickly “yindooism disrespects wimmen and wimmen kan inturn disrespect yindooism too”. Henj iph Akhil Kumar embrace “Bakislam” he will larn to respect wimmen as exchange they are all ready to join yindooism.

It is aljo learnt that phemales like the pawer to disrespect the relijion and provided eggambles of some Aroon dhoti...

Some unkonfirmed reborts also report, the answer to Visa Granter about the state of Shourya Mijjile under the Chaddi of Akhil Kumar haj been phound by one of the phemales he subbosedly befriended before the attack. In the process Akhil Kumar lost all the prekautions of wearing the Green Chaddi made by taller than mountain deepel than ojean friends, instead wearing hij safforn chaddi.
Thij is grave concern; a jirga ij needed to immeditely ijjue a fatwa:
1)To keep all the goats away from these madern phemales who will aljo korrupt the goats
2)Pan the Photo of Akhil Kumar being published
3)Phind all the phemales and konduct honor system as needed.
4)Qwickly rekonstruct the Kallege theje wimmen go to.

JwalaMukhi · Post by **JwalaMukhi** » 12 Oct 2009 05:32

Meanwhile, the berification of truth ij being hampered by lack of pious 4 witnessess. However, some of the Baki philmmakers are debating apout naaming the new philm about Akhil kumar. Some suggestion waj toyed with, to mimic the block buster hit movie "Haseena Atim bum" the new mobie is to be naamed as "Atim Pistol Hassan" depicinting the story of an abandoned poy going the wrong way as Akhil Kumar. Touring of the area to the philm maker haj been facilitated by the regional crore Commander.

hnair · Post by **hnair** » 12 Oct 2009 06:52

GHQ area was kept sanitized of school girls after threat to Pakistan Army and Taliban

"Get me my coffee or I declare you non-state"

Taliban depart after "state actor" awards declared.

Soldier shoots his own foot after realizing he lost his shoes, citing un-islamic behaviour

amit · Post by **amit** » 12 Oct 2009 13:05

Soft power of the Land of Piss and Love on display in distant Jamaica.

AjayKK · Post by **AjayKK** » 12 Oct 2009 17:47

After Hoosain Omaba won No-ball brize, there waj question raised by YYY on Bakistani No-ball winners. But YYY agints do not knaw that first ever no-ball prize winner was Bakistani!

Now, Bakistan is inspired by the idea of Ik-ball, hence by definiton all Bakistanis are Ik-ball prize winners. In such bious situashun, how does one produce a No-ball prize winner?

To solve the matter, bious bakistanis branded Fizziks man Abdus Salam as Qadiani and pushed him out of the country to get secrets like Xerox Khan. Apter Abdus won the No-ball prize, he peecame the phirst Bakistani No-ball laureate. After his death in Oxfordistan, he was buried in the pios Bakistan with a plaque reading "First Muslim No-ball laureate".

After this students of unnamed madrassa used advanced R&D taknik and etched out the word Muslim as he was Qadiani. And thus Bakistan had the "First . No-ball laureate".

Zoom into the tasvir and see the work of R&D on Abdus Salam' grave.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/23058467@N ... 6/sizes/l/

Long live No-ball/Ik-ball laureates of the madrassa ejucation which pioneers etching /repainting takniks.

Rishi · Post by **Rishi** » 12 Oct 2009 18:26

Mutual GUBO Society?

Rishi · Post by **Rishi** » 12 Oct 2009 19:17

AoA! Ij it true that the Golden Goat awards (The Kushpoos) for haraam singers and Golden Lambost (The Mooshys) award for non-state actors are due too be announjed?

Satya_anveshi · Post by **Satya_anveshi** » 12 Oct 2009 19:59

All the things he said

‘A lot of people say if you want to go abroad and get a visa for Canada or citizenship and be a millionaire, get yourself raped.’
On the abuse and violence against women in Pakistan – Washington Post on 13 September, 2005

‘It hit me at the ceremony, I think, when I handed over the baton to the new army chief of staff. Uh, that ceremony that was very nostalgic, very emotional because I thought this is the day when I am leaving. I am no more the chief.’
On taking off the uniform – Good Morning America on 30 November, 2007

Arunkumar · Post by **Arunkumar** » 12 Oct 2009 21:56

amit wrote:Soft power of the Land of Piss and Love on display in distant Jamaica.

As the saying goes

Apne Mijjile ko itna kar buLund.....
Kushpoo kudh bande par chadkar puche ....Bol teri raza kya hai.......

archan · Post by **archan** » 13 Oct 2009 00:42

All LMU ishtoodents and fakulty mempers: rejoice!
G(r)and Ayatollah Enqyoob Al Crazei has returned phrom the "Le-Educashun" camp where he waaj sent to. One less kafir on the phorum, and one more peeliever on the phorum. Bhat's not to like, hain? phyrr your AK's in the air! ATM ij great!

Baqr

Gagan · Post by **Gagan** » 13 Oct 2009 01:14

Bhaat!!!

He waj sent to le ejucason camp? Bhy bhy?
Waj he caught with poobah moosuaraff's kushpoo?

Mahendra · Post by **Mahendra** » 13 Oct 2009 01:27

Kerry underlining the imbortance of vasline under the Kerry Luber bill

There is only so much we can stretch :Malik

Gagan · Post by **Gagan** » 13 Oct 2009 01:31

phrom the looks of it, looks like the Carry-lugai pill will pe a soopar-doopar suck-cess phor bakistan.
Aj showed py maulana vamanulla, while unkil saam wants xxx, baakistaan ij villing to give xxxxxx.

Pirablem salved onlee, with savings on vasline too.

enqyoob · Post by **enqyoob** » 13 Oct 2009 01:55

AllahoAkbar! Pie the grace of ATM and through isthrenuous ephortj pie Mullah Archanullah, aphter many mahine oph wandering the cursed deserts oph the Gobi, I am habby to retarn to PeeAref BENIS caves. I am hiyaring that my evil unlamented 4th coujin was shaheed in rejant jeehad in Fauji headquaratrj at Rawalbindi wheyar he had gone to try and get Mullah Nayakuddin releajed phrom Pagaram dungeons. I had TOLD him to ishtay away from MijjILe Phorum and other Fauji-inphejted slums put would he lijjen?

Kuffars sickened him to the point of volutiyaring phor Fedayeen mission with BakPak. Anyway, this eej quite all right, now I get my peeloved goats pack.

Aj u may have seen, there was great activity in Swat yesterdin with sellabrashun oph IED-mubarak. Have to try out my new AK-56 "Kuffarkush" which was given to me by Tarrel-Than-Ocean fliends in Northern Arunachal Bradej.

Prem · Post by **Prem** » 13 Oct 2009 02:43

Gagan wrote:phrom the looks of it, looks like the Carry-lugai pill will pe a soopar-doopar suck-cess phor bakistan.
Aj showed py maulana vamanulla, while unkil saam wants xxx, baakistaan ij villing to give xxxxxx.

Pirablem salved onlee, with savings on vasline too.

Mujahid Ga Ga Andeen, Vasleen and KL act hazzb dheir own sebarate and momentuos barts to blay in Baki Gubo session and The Pill iz a latter addition , kunsidred to be bart of a day after sapehty thought bhen Amir Khan forcephully came in Pakistan to battle hard Aaal Quaida nutts

hnair · Post by **hnair** » 13 Oct 2009 02:58

vaman wrote:

Zardari orders paternity tests for Rehman Malik, after he started wearing sunglasses at night and calling himself "Kalaignar-e-Pakistan"

Gagan · Post by **Gagan** » 13 Oct 2009 03:03

But I yam naat samajh this.

Bhaat ij petter phor pakistan. To take the Pill pefore GUBO or after GUBO pill?
Eye hear that Morning -after pill haj less side ephekts.

Pleej to klariphy

Gaganulla al konfoosedly

Pee Ass: Onlee phor bosts phor hajaar !

Atri · Post by **Atri** » 13 Oct 2009 03:05

bhy not GUBO called GUPO, hain? grammatically, GUPO is the karr-e-ct pronunc-i-ation, hain ji?

Prem · Post by **Prem** » 13 Oct 2009 03:15

hnair wrote:
vaman wrote: [img]http://www.apakistannews.com/wp-content ... njured.jpg
Zardari orders paternity tests for Rehman Malik, after he started wearing sunglasses at night and calling himself "Kalaignar-e-Pakistan"

Hanirullah,
It iz berry easy Test in Bakistan ,done on daily baziz,, bet Rehman 's Ammi recognize her birather/Khawind to vouch phor da 400% halal inbrreding to brroove hiz 800% Pakistaniat.

Anujan · Post by **Anujan** » 13 Oct 2009 07:09

Bropaganda fillum from cee yae yae showing unwashed apduls to be weak !

Shreeman · Post by **Shreeman** » 13 Oct 2009 07:59

learned mullahj: i think the bhorum bobularity haj taken its toll on theje here kaves. IED muparaks daily are taking all the bhun out faster than a NLI downhill chambion. What to do onlee?

obh kourse I have peen long limited to mere dekha-dekhi status, not peing aple to enjwoy herpes, khushpoos, or the fourth goat of my coujin thrice removed. onlee the occajional vacuum pulp is broviding any enkourajement to the learned. still i dekh a grand debression coming, soon there will only pe ulluj left on any and all Daals. Aj in the akhharj of my bhavorite poyet:

...
har kaakhh pe ullu paiTha hai, Anjaam-e-gulistan kya hoga?

hain jee? what brice the future-e-LMU-bin-NSN?

Oh, and py-the-rasta, laal-mullah in case you haven't sunoed, one of the mujahids manajed to get that artikle buplished.

Edited: And then there waj: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Men_Who_Stare_at_Goats

Gagan · Post by **Gagan** » 13 Oct 2009 08:18

Indeed it is a sad din, when bure bakistani soosai-ty ij peing korrupted py soap commercials. This ij a cunning move py the koopher to distract bakistanis, so that they will spend their time in abblying podygard soap to their pody and forget the path oph jeehard.

And here they are showing one hoor without shuttle cock purka, who waj apout to pe given kanadian vija, bring along two witnesses. This is mosht haraam.

Shararat laa clearly sayj: One or more vija ijjuer and phor witnesses. But bhaat do we see heiyar, 4 kanadian vija issuers and only two witness? Kyon ji? In the apsence oph phor witnesses, how will kanadian vija issue pe proven hain ji?

Anujan · Post by **Anujan** » 13 Oct 2009 08:49

Breaking Neuj !!!

Bakistan takes a strong brinjibled against Kerry-Laugar bill !!

Declares that any discussion of violation of Bakistani sovirginity will be entertained only iph aid money ij atleast 30% oph Infosys Market capitalization. Brime minister Geelani declared that current Aid money which ij only 25% of Infosys Market Cap to be "Peanuts".

Dilbu · Post by **Dilbu** » 13 Oct 2009 09:23

hnairgolis wrote:"Kalaignar-e-Pakistan"

ArmenT · Post by **ArmenT** » 13 Oct 2009 09:34

There is only so much we can stretch :Malik[/quote]
The blighter looks a lot like M.K. Stalin, Karunanidhi's son. DNA testing needed for sure.
"Kalaignar-e-Pakistan" vallge!

niran · Post by **niran** » 13 Oct 2009 09:38

Resbected LMU Jirga,

AoA, BURRRRR SPATAK( now yam da biousest)

Eye hape a kanphujion, which da esteemed Jirga
onlee kan keylear.
Eye hiyar dat Amir Enqyoob eej back phrom hij visit to Raygestan-e-Gobi,
but peefore hij travel hij naam was Enqyoob with a pig "E", aphter
hij return eet eej enqyoob with a ismall "e".

Eye hape heard dat even Gobhi grows pigger in Raygestan-e-Gobi,
den why for "E" shrank to "e", a very serious matter eye say.

Therephore Respected Jirga pliss to istart iskratching your respective
mussharraf's yand do da needphull.

Salam

Prem · Post by **Prem** » 13 Oct 2009 09:43

I haab a pooch phrom dd asharaph, lurned Mauanaaz hare.
Bhy phor Baki like Rawhman, Gillaanni, Kiyaa Ni , Sheemyboob Qureshi albays hab their mouth obpen? Bhat do dhey expect to [hall in dheir mouth, Lalibaap orr golgappas. Aurrrr iz it mizzle abbroach warning sign.

Gagan · Post by **Gagan** » 13 Oct 2009 09:50

DNA teshting!
Chee Haraam, Ack thoo.
1000 stribes to the phool who sugg-e-sted this. Bakistanij hap 400% phool broof system that ij suck-cess-phooly ujed for 1400 saal.

gas what?

hnair · Post by **hnair** » 13 Oct 2009 10:23

Shukhran, Dilbullah/ARehman-Tajiki!!!

For those true mujahids and paki-lurks still scratching their coconuts, here is a picture for reference:

JwalaMukhi · Post by **JwalaMukhi** » 13 Oct 2009 13:09

hnairullah-al-kaption bulled the trigger. It waj a dishashter waiting to happen. The prave al-kaptioni didn't hejitate to kall phor patirnity test. Al-kaptioni bentured bhere mujahids would phear. Kaliangar e Original when kontacted ij reported to have said "the brahui tamil links goes back atleajt to aryin mahabarath period. He ij aljo reported to have said to neber underesjtimate the reach of kalienger.
Kalienger-e-original aljo waj seen preaking into some brahui tamil poetry while dressed aj kupphar kannan oph mahabarath, pehind dark glasses.

AjayKK · Post by **AjayKK** » 13 Oct 2009 13:44

Bakistan appalled as YYY government insists on IQ check on bious Bakistanis

JwalaMukhi · Post by **JwalaMukhi** » 13 Oct 2009 13:51

Ex-inpharmation minijster sherri Rehman (squeezedi) haj welkomed the paternity test and denied any reborts of prejjure to changing the country's TV chaneel phrom crescent moon and star to the nearest istar. Bakistan pure land (pending rejusts of patrinity tests) of 400% will nat abandon the chand phor anything. Kaliengar e pakistan haj been advised to uje hij dark glasses all the time and lie low.

Gagan · Post by **Gagan** » 13 Oct 2009 20:41

AjayKK wrote:Bakistan appalled as YYY government insists on IQ check on bious Bakistanis

Biradher what thij mean sawine phlew?
Ij it jest like Jernail moosuaraff phlew off to londonistaan or even higher in isky jest like Sadar Jarnail Zia-ul-Haq (BBUH)?

Doej sawine mean new type oph haraam bhine that koopher drink jest like halaal zam zam cola?

Or ij it some kind oph cunning YYY conspiracy that the koopher yindoos are bractising py checking bious pakistanis phor signs oph haraam swine?

Iph it ij latter, then

JEEEEEEEHHHHHHAAAAARRRRRRRDDDDD pe upon ju.

Salam

Prem · Post by **Prem** » 13 Oct 2009 22:26

I hurd Pakisantanis arr, naturally , biologicaly as well logically immune to Swine Floo. IZ it troo about Swinelandian TFTA?.

Mahendra · Post by **Mahendra** » 13 Oct 2009 22:32

Prem wrote:I hurd Pakisantanis arr, naturally , biologicaly as well logically immune to Swine Floo. IZ it troo about Swinelandian TFTA?.

I heard that High IQ bakistanis wear condoms while exchanging common needles for injecting drugs, this way they prevent AIDS unlike you lungi wearing, vegetarian, slumdawg darkies.

Anujan · Post by **Anujan** » 13 Oct 2009 22:44

vaman wrote:I heard that High IQ bakistanis wear condoms while exchanging common needles for injecting drugs, this way they prevent AIDS unlike you lungi wearing, vegetarian, slumdawg darkies.

Pleaje do not spread roomers. It ij well known that bakistan is opposed to MTCR (Mijjile takneeki control and restriction). Bakistan regularly indulges in pack channel exchanges without MTCR. These pack channel exchanges protect our national sovirginity.

Prem · Post by **Prem** » 13 Oct 2009 22:49

vaman wrote:
Prem wrote:I
I heard that High IQ bakistanis wear condoms while exchanging common needles for injecting drugs, this way they prevent AIDS unlike you lungi wearing, vegetarian, slumdawg darkies.

Bhaaat is dhiz IQ , Inbreeding Queerz?
So bhaat if we are Daarkieez. Hare iz da loongi dance

Prem's Dance
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O75GNQmBeRM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-N27XB2 ... re=related

shravan · Post by **shravan** » 14 Oct 2009 00:39